Its harder than i thought...

Painful. But fun.

Its amazing how people can make things seem and sound so easy. We hit Batam at about 10, checked into the hotel, then headed for the cable-ski place. Apparantly there was a storm that tore down a small hut earlier this week, so they were doing some cleaning up. We were then taught how to use a kneeboard... which you get on by kneeling and strapping your thighs on. Naturally, me being the sucker i am, i decided to try going first.

Now before i go on, let me describe the cable ski setup. There's a circular cable above that services a series of clamps that pull ropes which cable-skiiers hang on to to get their kick. This is continuously moving at somewhere between jogging and sprinting speed. Doesnt seem fast? Ya thats what we thought.

So, the instructor said, keep your hands to your side, tuck in, clench the muscles for a few seconds while the rope takes in the slack and pulls... and suddenly WHUMPH im face flat in the water. Hmmm. Well he did say that people will fail to do it most of the time. Grrr..... Try again. The laughter was short lived as we all took turns to eat water. I guess the initial embarassment of falling in the water over and over faded quite quickly. Until Edgar managed to get the hang of it... Then we all quickly learned from him. Apparently the initial starting position involves pulling your hands near the tip of the board, much like the posture of a sycophant lying prone in prayer... haha i guess thats what happens when we pray to stay on the board... Eventually we managed to finish the two rounds, turnings and all...

Then once we had our appetite for water whetted on the knee boards, we were shown the real wakeboards... And once again, we all ate water. On the bright side, i managed to be the first one to complete a full round on the wakeboard... haha im guessing its from the experience skateboarding... the heels and toes to turn thing. The feeling of standing on a wakeboard is just so... liberating. The sun in the sky, the wind in your hair, and the feeling that if you let go you are so, so, soooo fucked. Ed had to give up cos his injury was acting up... While Zhongwei and Jack just kept trying... We broke for lunch, which was fried rice with egg and chicken. At that point of time, anything would have looked good. Horror of horrors, while we were eating, we noticed our hands shaking... haha funny. After lunch i gave it a couple more tries, but eventually decided to break as my hands were too pumped to hold the handle properly... and i was aching in a couple of other places too. Took the opportunity to video Zhongwei and Jack and their attempts to master the wakeboard... and their successful tries. Nice one guys!

Headed back to the hotel after that exhauting yet thrilling session. Had dinner at a nice seafood restaurant near the ferry terminal, within the ghost town of waterfront city. Headed back for a few games of bridge (which never seemed so fun before) and then for a little while sat at the bar. Reacquainted myself with the taste of tequila, and remembered why i never took liquor straight up.

Woke up the next day unable to sit up in bed. Yes it was that bad. I guess it took me a very vigorous activity to realise how screwed up my body had become. I recommend a gym session or two before starting on wakeboarding or any similar activity... As of now the aches are still here. Neck, shoulders, stomach, back, and even my ass aches. Aaaargh..... sick shit. But hey, it was fun. Painful but fun.

Frankly theres nothing to Batam... looks like johor or any malaysian state... i wonder whats all the hype about. We drifted around a couple of malls before deciding to head back to the ferry terminal to change our tickets to an earlier timing... The only good thing that happened on the second day was that we found an A&Ws restaurant, and brunched there. Hoo.... the food was good man! So hard to find a nice root beer float nowadays... Went to an arcade,and i indulged myself in an Air Hockey challenge.... haha. Fun, Fun, Fun...

Overall the trip was not bad. Although i would spend less time in Batam city and more on wakeboarding and chilling out in the hotel. Will be going again, definitely. When? God knows.

Cleanup

Sometimes you don't realise how bad things become until it slaps you in the face...

I was happily reading Friday by Robert A. Heinlein, when i noted a certain aura near my shoulder... Then i saw it. A huge freakin COCKROACH standing calmly at my elbow area, testing the air of the table with its long feelers. Its not a normal cockroach i tell you. Its FRICKIN huge.

Needless to say i flipped. i completely flipped. My table is my sanctum, my last refuge from the utter inanity of doing my work on the floor. I chased the cockroach until it disappeared from sight. And then began to wonder. How on earth did that cockroach get onto the table??? Its practically the cockroach version of scaling Everest. Ok, at least Kinabalu. Ok... maybe bukit timah. But thats not the point. I realise my table had, in the one month since CNY, had grown enough cover and concealment to hide a platoon of cockroaches somewhere inside.

It was time for some good old-fashioned ritual cleansing... And this time im gonna get my army stuff out of the way too... Im way overdue for my CCC (Civilian Conversion Course)... And its time i caught up.

That was 8. 3 hours later, i've cleaned out my army stuff but my table still remains a paper jungle. Nothing a little fire and clearance wont help... BURN baby BURN.... muahaha.

They call me MR Luke.

Feels so good to ORD.

And thats my message of the day.

Monster

Dammit my mom's car is a monster.... wider, longer, heavier, and more powerful to drive than the car i took my driving lessons in... Frankly i was terrified i would scratch it. But hey, it feels good to drive. Although with my mom looking over my shoulder and criticising my every move. Hey, it still feels good to drive. LOL.

Spent a day wasted at home. Reading V for Vendetta. Its good. Think i'll catch the movie. Freedom is often overlooked as a quality. V for Vendetta takes place in a neo-dystopian now, where nuclear war has decimated the earth, and a worldwide cataclysm. England is under the control of Fate, a totalitarian government system aided by a mega-computer network, which monitors and records down the lives of its citizens as they live day to day. Thats right. Big Brother is watching. V for Vendetta chronicles the rise of a hero in that turbulent times. His goal? To teach the sad lifeless people of the world the meaning of freedom.

Fantastic. Typical of Vertigo. I enjoy reading Vertigo publishings... Sandman, Swamp Thing, Hellblazer, and now V for Vendetta. All good... Pls take a recommendation. I suggest Sandman. Nice start to addiction to comic books.

Driving. Me NUTS!

Price of 30 lessons- $1440
Costs of 9 circuit bookings- $170
Cost of 1 driving test- $100

The look on my face when i passed- PRICELESS.

Failed to confirm safety- 4 pts.
Slope: Roll backwards- 2 pts.
Failure to overtake- No penalty (one time)
Fail to check blind spot- No penalty (one time)

Overall- 6pts
Grade- Passed

w0000000000000000000000000000000000t

But frankly i didnt quite expect to pass. My driving instructor was berating me the entire warm-up session. When i stepped into the test waiting room, morale was almost at an all-time low. But hey, breath in, shoulders back, walk with confidence... Dunno. Putting on a brave front is helpful. At least to quash the pre-test jitters. Everyone gets them.

Haha my examiner was called tien chai. In chinese, thats "genius." dunno if thats an omen of any kind. I was kind of freaked out when after we headed for the circuit, he flipped the clipboard and ticked or scribbled something after every station. MAN THAT WAS BONE-CHILLING. That aside, i tried not to get too unnerved. Just carried on. Didnt talk much with him. Just moved and tried to work as normal. Only major foul-up was sliding a little on the slope. F***ing handbrake. Went out of circuit. Had route 2. Thank god i covered that earlier today. Out, a little filtering, up a slope, down the slope, filter some more, turn, turn again, and back. Man its so easy to type out. But the route wasnt as hard as i thought it would be. Kena penalised cos the tester said theres one time i changed lane before checking blind spot. I did actually. But my hands moved faster than my head turned, so he said i moved before checking. LOL. Went back to the test centre. He didnt say a word. I followed him to the debrief. And found out that all that ticking was to certify that i finished each part of the circuit. KNNBCCB, that was scary. But the result was worth it. Couldnt keep the grin from my face. 6pts...... Man! I guess going for 4 lessons last week was worth it. Hit my goal, and it feels good.

Musings

My mom tells me im easy to feed. Give me an omelette for dinner everyday and im happy. Upon reflection, i realise, hey thats kind of true. Maybe we all do develop taste for rich food, crave for abalone and sharks fin every now and then. But when it all boils down, it doesnt matter what you eat. As long as its filling.

People often look for many things in life. There will always be high goals and unattainable dreams. Sometimes you reach them, sometimes you don't. Many times the weight of society crashes down on your unfortunate dreams, crushing them beneath the big black boot of reality. Sometimes you learn to throw off the chains and fly, soaring above and beyond what you imagined to be your limit.

Its sad that many of us will never become what we want to become in society. We all have big dreams, and want to make it big. Unfortunately, life is a harsh mistress. We may not always find the strength to pursue our course. Sometimes we may just feel like giving up.

But hey, sometimes its the journey, not the destination that matters.
Its the friends that you make along the way.
Its the lessons you learn about yourself.
Its the pain and suffering that happened to you.
Its the way you know you'll never be the same again.
Life is a journey of self discovery. Everyone will have different experiences. Live life to the fullest, for the next day, you may be gone.

What prompted this musing on such a sombre topic? i dunno. i was on the bus chatting with zhongwei the other day. And i distinctly remember saying to him- not everyone will be able to reach the top.
I was looking at an article on the net the other day, and they stated that universities grade students compared to each other. therefore not everyone will be able to do well, because you have to do better than others.
Frankly i feel its sad that good work cannot just be recognised for its own goodness. In this society, it has to be better than the rest.
But onfortunately, thats the way life is.
Spending an eternity of time jumping to someone elses tune.

100th post

Damn its been a long time coming!

Good night?

Busy day... Went to get stuff for crabbing, bought Kevin's gift, went for his suprise party. Its really nice to see a suprise party actually work out... I could see the shock in his eyes when he stepped in. Looking back at this two years, there was really a lot that we went through together. One thing i regret, is not knowing him well enough. For someone who was with me throughout my army experience, i find my relationship with him very...... faded. Strange, i think. Very strange, i know. Somehow something didnt go right somewhere. Sigh. A wasted opportunity.

Anyway i was pleasantly suprised (and slightly envious) to find that his family is so close. You can really see the love and care they have for him... To the extent that his sister managed to pull so many strings and throw a complete suprise party for him...... Its...... heartwarming. To say the least. Its a closely knit family group, which is sadly a rare specimen...

Being a big brother. How much have i accomplished? Whenever i hear senior officers talk they liken leadership to being like an elder sibling or being a parent. Have i been that good a leader as i should have been? I can't say that i've been the best of influences on my brother. I can't say that i've always treated him well and protected him. Many times to the contrary.

Sigh. Much reflection will follow.

Crabbing. Caught less crabs, but managed to cook them all!!! Hahaha got abt 4 fair sized crabs (seafood restaurant size) that we managed to gut and got Andrew to cook. Man, experience in Cafe Cartel comes in handy with spices and other stuff that makes it taste oh so good...... Although we didnt catch much it was still a pleasant experience... Its nice just to sit there and stone looking at the high rise buildings across the river. Brings the mind to think about certain events and certain people.

And its DAMN FUN on the back of a pickup truck blasting ACDC on the speakers. More of that good shite please.

Driving test next week. Hope the conditions are favorable and my practice is enough. Im just pissed that a lot of it relies on chance and how the road favours you. I will pass on my first try. This is my promise to myself. I will do it. Because i know i can do it.

Sweet Emotion

Tis such sweet emotion thus
to clear the room once called my own
this feeling, like desire, like lust
departing from an ancient throne

Forth the dusty shelves has left
Regretless, a job justly done.
Silent and empty, clear and bereft
the ex-owner heads out for some fun!

In an attempt to save myself the complete deterioration of my language skills, i have entered a collaboration with a friend to start an... (suprise suprise) Online Novel. it will be written as a series of short stories spanning genres and styles, and the best part- it will be written chapter by chapter, on a daily basis.

Destination Unknown
A collection of short stories in shorter parts

Keep updated!

Type- Hey gtg now before i lose the urge to exercise...

-logoff-

1 hour later...

Type- F*** it, 3-4km, 40 pushups and 100 situps later, im feeling F*******G UNFIT.

Time to exercise some discipline and maintain a steady regime...

Activity

Ok its time to stop using this wisdom tooth thing as a crutch to extend my withdrawal from society and procrastination to find work. Its about time i got off my ass and did somethin besides reading comics and playing heroes 3. HEROES 3 for gods sake...

Convalescence...

If there's one thing i learnt over the last few days of slacking at home, its the value of friendship.

the days feel truly empty when there's not much to do. And little else especially if you just got your tooth plucked. I really appreciate the friends that visit from time to time who keep the colour in my day. Or the logging on past midnight to find a huge 3 way conversation in progress... Or that little message from someone who cared. It all adds up. It all counts. And im all the better off for it.

If ever you had a rough time in your life, sit back and don't hesitate to ask for help. There will always be guardian angels who will look out for you in times of need. Who cheer you up in times of trouble. And provide companionship in every way.

Even if they all laugh at me for having chipmunk cheeks. THEY WILL ALL DIE FOR THAT... bastards. Can't live without them. =)

Max Pain.

I love general anaesthesia. The sensation is so... cloudy. Its like falling asleep perfectly, without any of the tossing and turning and other unnecessary involuntary actions before surrendering to the deep blue never.

Took out 4 wisdom teeth today... feeling the pain... ouch. I tell myself that its better to get it out now... looking at the x-ray, my wisdom teeth are growing sideways. You know like teeth are all n-shaped? my wisdom teeth looked c-shaped and reverse c-shaped. Yup basically if they come out they'll push the rest of my teeth together. Which will provide complications... So its best that i take it out now... whew. Just endure the pain and i guess it'll go away. Meanwhile i regret sleeping so much today. My body clock's out of whack. Hopefully can recover quickly so can do something more meaningful with my time. Get the mind off the slight pain.

Just when i needed you most

You packed in the morning, I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing the door
I didn't stand in your way.

But I miss you more than I missed you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me just when I needed you most
Left me just when I needed you most.

Now most every morning, I stare out the window
And I think about where you might be
I've written you letters that I'd like to send
If you would just send one to me.

'Cause I need you more than I needed before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me just when I needed you most
Left me just when I needed you most.

You packed in the morning, I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing the door
I didn't stand in your way.

Now I love you more than I loved you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me just when I needed you most
Oh yeah, you left me just when I needed you most
You left me just when I needed you most.

A Hole in my Soul...

Something feels missing from my life.

Time to rethink what i want to do.

Of course i have the time.

What do i want out of life?