Passing

Condolences to the family of 1SG Siti. She might not have been a very important part of my unit life, but she was a part nonetheless.

Life moves on.

Do not go gentle into that good night (A Villanelle)

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

Alvy's Song

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you
let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms
let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you
Come let me love you, come love me again

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

Yet another personality test

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

from
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

courtesy of jack jack and kw.

How true it is? I don't really see anything i don't know already. Do i really know myself that well? Probably. I mean, im the person thats spent the most time with me. =)

Dirges in the Dark

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But february made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ’n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin’,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Now for ten years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

They were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die."

Insomnia Sucks

And i hate this special brand of insomnia where you hover just between tiredness and complete awareness of your surroundings. Where you're yawning and are completely awake at the same time. Grrrrrr. I just heard the newspaper guy throw in the morning papers. Maybe later i shall do my ex-GP teacher proud and go read the latest headlines. Trouble in Iraq. Singaporeans complaining. US throwing its weight around again. Some Hollywood star did something stupid and people are laughing or complaining about it. Doesn't take a genius to figure out the news nowadays.

I think my current awareness stems from the accidental consumption of a overly potent brew of coffee. All coffee lovers beware - the Starbucks Java Chip Frappucino is a KILLER. Its the equivalent of Kopi-Choc-GAO, peng. Whoah. Guaranteed instant awareness. How good is it? I took half a venti frap at 2pm this afternoon. 5am today? woah, guess which bastard's still awake... Like i said, beware. It doesnt help that i've starved myself of coffee recently, to lower my immunity. I think its the lowered immunity that contributed to the current state of hyper-awareness.

Or maybe the weather isn't quite fantastic. Its either pouring or fricking burning. I've got so much phlegm i feel like i could do the exorcist thing. Maybe i could be the next spiderman villian, phlegman! My superpower? I give people TB. Hrmm. Maybe i already have that superpower. My cough, which some of you know, has been with me for 3 months, is guess what? STILL HERE. Spooky ain't it.

Doesn't help that I have a black knight sitting outside my door, just raving to go. I swear, its a beauty. I hope i learn to treasure these little things in life. I have a fear that someday i'll just wake up and take my life for granted, and turn out to be one of those snotty little brats that i absolutely hate. At least i try to keep good friends. If friends are a reflection of your personality, maybe by choosing the right friends you can choose your personality? Fallacitical logic, but rational in a certain light. Much like how in club lighting all girls look pretty.(-ier)

Maybe sleep tonight will not be an option for me. Its barely a few hours more before daybreak anyway. I should try to catch sunrise, god knows how long it has been since i've seen that.

Isn't it amazing how so many ideas can come to you in the shower, but the moment you step out they leave the vicinity of your mind?

Sometimes i scare myself. The more of my objectives i fulfill, the less i feel motivated to move ahead and go for more. Fulfillment breeds complacency and builds inertia. I'm definitely not the same person i was 4 years ago. And that frightens me. How far will i let myself slide down the path of self-doubt and the vicious cycle of negativity. I'm told im a darker person on the blog than i am in real life. Maybe this is the voice of my insecurities.

Daily Fortune - "Insecurity is your biggest hurdle"

How true.

Is it such a useless thing to keep your pride?

Of dolls and faces

X: "Dolls are loved for their faces only. Do you buy dolls for what's inside? What's inside is cheap cotton that has no value."
Y: "Perhaps it is cheap cotton, but aren't all dolls made out of cheap cotton? The doll can never be a doll without the cotton within. It is the cotton that gives the doll shape and life. It is the cotton that fleshes out the doll. It is easy to treasure a face, and far harder to treasure the cotton within."
X: ":) ok justified."

Had a good time in genting/KL!
Results were shocking though.

Love Song for an Ocean

I wish i could be born with gills
to stay under your waves forever
The cool rush of the current
the silent hiss of the regulators
The eternal silence that echoes through the reefs
The gentle weightlessness of floating

You hold me gently to your womb
guiding me past the dangers and beauty
(for in beauty lies danger)
(and in danger lies beauty)
Floating in an endless void
(nothing is endless)
(aquae aeturnium)

You show me the wonders
The natural partnerships
the harmony of life
That living creatures big and small
live peacefully
under the waves pelagic.
Shimmering turqoise, Glowing greens, brillian blues

The stings of the anemone lay beneath me
shepherded jealously by the numerous nemos
The walls of staghorns expand as far as the eye can see
pierced by brains here and there
in the midst lie little urchins
(please sir may i have some food?)
Their deep blue eyes staring at me
Their long deadly nails waving in the current
piercing unwary visitors such as i.

A happy life it would be
to stay under your waves forever.
Alas i was not born with gills
and i await our next reunion.

Events

Just came back from Phantom of the Opera. Fantastic show. Its nice once in a while to catch a musical, really something out of the ordinary. The sets were fantastic, the music thunderous, the action well paced. Individual actors did well, but there were certain problems with sound balance and enunciation. I never realised how hard it is to hear sopranos sing till now.

And to my dear Alvy that came all the way to Esplanade after her meeting to find me, thank you so much darling. I'm going to miss you so much over the next 3 days in Tioman. I'll take care of myself for you so that i'll come back safe and sound ok?

28 Dollars Later

Good day today!
Drunk list -
Zombie
Midori Splice
Sex on the Beach
Stella Artois
Passion Martini
Morning Dew
Gin and Sin
and a few sips of a Blue Motorcycle

The world is spinning and feels light, like a feather weighing a tonne bowling ball revolving around an axle, falling ever slowly into a downward spin.

Watched 28 Weeks Later with the guys. 28 dollars later, we realised that they copied several scenes from 28 days later. Not a bad movie. We went on to watch Priceless. Audrey Tatou in that movie *IS* priceless. More of a fashion parade for her than anything else. If anything its a how-not-to find a girl. But interesting nonetheless. I downed the 7 sins over the course of the first 2 hours of the movie. The Blue Motorcycle is still sitting downstairs, chugging its evil horn, tempting me to bouts of vomiting and the agonies of a drastic hangover. But i shall resist. My dear is clubbing without me today. Lets hope that guys (in general, who we all know are bastards) will not act like bastards and actually leave her in peace for once. Failing that it's gonna be a 4am call to give her a lift from zouk again. (hopefully not dead drunk). Do i have such faith in common man? No. I say again? No. People are assholes. Im staying dry for now in the event that i need to be the midnight chaueffeur for my darling later. She's all sweet and a little naive. Hopefully she learns after a while. I think im not going to be able to sleep again. Sigh. This ALWAYS affects me more than i should let it. Not that i don't trust her. I just don't trust humanity in general. Call it the cynical side of being alive for too long.

Whatever. Im drunk like a skunk and i should be fed straight to bed. Even my rhymes are out of time and my sound can't be found. Let's see if my overactive and paranoid imagination lets me rest peacefully tonight.
-Edit-
I think im worrying too much. Goodnight all.

And so the Buddha said:

The body is like a lump of foam.
Feelings are like bubbles.
Perceptions are like a mirage.
Mental formations like a plaintain trunk,
and consciousness like a magic trick.