Its been a while...

Wow. Almost a month. Went on deployment, came back. Had the most rude shock in my life on the last week of deployment. The news came in a SMS. "the new guy? Yeah, he'll be taking your platoon." I was stunned. I didnt know how to react. Suddenly i felt bereft. Cut adrift. Left out in the deep blue sea. How can you justify breaking a relationship with your men that has been budding for 2 months? i was just getting to know them really well. And now... Bereft, alone, drifted. Looking back, i will miss the moments shared as a PC with them. It was definitely one of the most engaging experience in my life. Like the girlfriend i never had. Learning about what makes them tick, hearing their problems, helping them through the tough times, enjoying the good. At least im still in the company. Although i initially wanted to be a 2ic i did not expect it to happen this way. Its like the baby and the lollipop. To really make it sting, give it to the baby, then take it back a little later. The frustration, hopelessness and anger just piles up... Nothing can reveal how i feel. Maybe i'll change my blog title again. I realised...... i do give a flying f***. There are things that matter a lot to me.