new blogger? cool. maybe its time to update the template.

Virgo
The good news is that you will have a very relaxing, enjoyable day. The bad news is that this day can't last forever -- and that you won't get a lot of work done today. As long as you resign yourself to an unproductive day, you will be able to lay down any burdens you've put on yourself. Admit to yourself and to the powers that be that no headway will be made today. Chances are, this little delay in the schedule won't cause anyone too much stress.

Its already wrong because its not relaxing nor enjoyable. Well, half a day more to find out if anything improves.

Wow. I guess i really am an average student.

Just something i saw the other day.

If Singapore ever goes into space exploration, i wonder who would be our spokespeople.
I can just imagine Lee Hsien Loong, appearing to an alien race....
"We are Singaporean, we mean you no harm"

a beautiful wind blows
the cleansing drops fall
the beat of minute hammers
a moaning voice calls
out from the skies above
de-inking dusty stains
life drips onwards from the skies
outside it rains again

If only life was always this fun.
There is something thats bugging me and its pissing me off to the point that i can't truly enjoy myself.

Oh wait i know. its something called RESPONSIBILITY.

Pulling out of hall is starting to become more and more of a reality. It's seriously starting to get irritating. Perhaps freedom is what i seek. My time is precious to me. and having to spend a lot of it engaged in hall activities just doesnt cut it. Or maybe its the freedom to do what i want to do without people telling me that i have to do things for them.

Ironically, the roles i'm being called to play is exactly the ones which i fulfill the best. Organise, call and pull people back to donate their time to the hall.
Bah. The dichotomy of events is just too bizarre. Needless to say, duty will be fulfilled, and then...

we'll see.

"and just as you want men to do to you, you do likewise"
Luke 6:31

Cool, did i say that?

Kant's Categorical Imperative

"act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it would become an universal law." - First formulation

basically, "do it only if you don't mind other people doing it as well, even to you."

simplified,

"do unto others as you would others do unto you."

So if anyone calls me a Kant, hey, i guess i am.

Luke's theory of hair evolution

from this:
to this:

and finally to one of these:




final product:
For better or for worse?

So this is what freedom tastes like.

Mmmmm. Tasty.

One last paper. MLE. Its getting to the point where im looking at the notes, and i think "hey, i've seen this before."

Ahahaha. Complacency will KILL me. bitch. Time to kick my own ass.

Completed Mechwarrior 4 Mercenaries. Mmmmmm. Destructive Therapy. The feeling of faux power with a 100 ton machine destroying other huge machines. Haha. Therapy indeed. Feeding my violent tendencies.

So many games to play! Dawn of War 3, Stubbs the Zombie...
2 more seasons for South Park.
Half a season of WLIIA.
Happy Feet, the Pick of Destiny, and a few other good shows to watch.
Mambo, mambo, mambo.
Tim's birthday bash. Drunk people all over the place.
1802 gathering- looking forward to that!
Haircut? Maaaaaybe. =p probably not.

One leg kicking?

A nod to homegrown films, they arent all as bad as you all imagine.

Isnt film just a media to explore topics of interest?

Of course to sell, they must talk about things that interest people.

Its not often that local talent gets a chance to show off their skills (or practice).

Well, one leg kicking isnt bad.

But this sold it for me.

Fiona Xie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FIONA XIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok enough of that.

FIONA XIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sigh. 4 down, 1 more to go...

KNN. What the hell is this supposed to mean?

You scored as Philosophy. Philosophy 88% English 69% Psychology 69% Biological Sciences 56% Anthropology 44% Engineering 38% What is your major? created with QuizFarm.com

While reading up on fallacies

Godwin's Law

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Godwin's Law (also Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies) is a mainstay of Internet culture, an adage formulated by Mike Godwin in 1990. The law states:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.[1]

Studying

Mugging is such an irritating word.
Why are people so proud to say that they're mugging?
What satisfaction do you derive from the impression you're bashing your brains out to understand whats going on?
Studying.
Thats what im doing.
Revising.
Thats the order of the day
Studying.
The student's task ever flowing
Revising
Thats what i'll say.

Fucking muggers. Work smart, then work hard. I'd rather know how things work rather then just use how it works.
But intelligence is in short supply.
3 cups of coffee seem to do it for me.

The 9 year friend's excellent adventure 2007- coming soon to a 9 year friend near you.

Leg hurts, arm hurts, woke up at 12, taste of alcohol in my mouth.

But im satisfied. =) Ok time to work now......

Hmmm

Jackson trial mother admits fraud

Jackson pledges thriller comeback

Michael Jackson was not only wrongly accused, he's actually coming back!
Alright man!!!

Good things - more performance from the most talented black white black whatever artiste in the world.

Bad things - No more little children jokes about jackson, its not real so its not funny anymore.

The greatest friend ever

He'll always be ready with a sympathetic ear!

Mmmm. Got bible?

This is sooo damn funny.

"Me so holy..."
WTFROFLMAO

3 on 3

3 books in 3 days. w00t

4 books in 5 days. w00t.

what the hell am i doing?

Ok reading 2 stephen king books in 2 days is not a good way to spend your time. why? because once you pick it up, you just can't stop. Aaaaaaargh. mentally morbid now. Second book? Pet Sematary. Ever heard of the story of the Monkey's Paw? aka three wishes gone wrong. Suggested reading. Even King feels that this is one of his most disturbing books. Ouch. The ending is... eerie. If anybody taps me over the shoulder the next few days, be prepared for very very violent reactions. Aaaaaaargh. I should be studying. Aaaaaargh. I should be studying. I think i'll pin that on my wall somewhere.

I'm
just screwing around
im wasting my time
you might not see it but i know that its true

Im lazing around
got nothing to say
i want to work but i cant leave the mood that in my head...

The word for the day is:

Aaaaaaaaaargh.

You know how hard it is to find a real page turner nowadays?

The last 24 hours i have been indulging myself in a secret passion... drawn into the depths of a book that i could just not put down. Frankly im amazed at myself. But more importantly... Its a great book.

Stephen King - Salem's Lot

Fantastic. Macabre. Morbid, even.

The thrill of horror courses through my veins... And i grow wary of things that go bump in the night......

One more thing that i have done before i shut myself down to study.
Mambo tomorrow anyone?

A kiss is just a kiss.

This day and age we're living in
Gives cause for apprehension
With speed and new inventions
And things like fourth dimension.

Yet we get a trifle weary
With Mr. Einstein's theory.
So we must get down to earth at times
Relax relieve the tension

And no matter what the progress
Or what may yet be proved
The simple facts of life are such
They cannot be removed.

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date.
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny.

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

A little sideline advertising for my friend......

visit www.projectangel8.blogspot.com

They're raising funds for a trip to build 2 schools in cambodia and teach english to them. Do your part for charity! They've got some cool stuff there. Its an NUS thing, but if you want i can liase and help you contact them.

A funny thing happened to me on the way to class today......


I think it was 0700
Woke up to the blazing klaxons of my alarms, promply murdered the closest one, ignored the other one and went back to blissful oblivion for 15 minutes.

I think it was 0715
Woke up to the irritating sound of my handphone alarm, (set just for this purpose), and pondered the mysteries of life, and stayed put on my soft (oh so soft!) bed.

I think it was 0730
Took a look at my clock, it was 7.30! yay. went to switch off my handphone alarm. walked back and plopped on the bed to rest my eyes a little while.

Opening up, i went to take a shower, and prepped for class. Before leaving? saw the clock, it was 10 minutes to the hour. Time to rush a little for class... skipping hall breakfast, i strode up to the bus stop...

where i had to wait for the bus for fricking long.

Finally getting to the LT, i had to make a double take- It was FULL. my god. so full it was scary. went to find my friends. Sat beside ivan.

Hor: "WOW, zhixian's here"
Me: "yeah. so whats he covered so far?"
Ivan: flip thru...... abt 40 slides

i googled. WHAT THE HELL? i come in 10 minutes late and he goes thru 40 slides? woah.

I watched in major incomprehension, as the lecturer droned on past 2 examples.

About 8 slides later, i checked my watch, and had the shock of my life.

0926

somehow, someway......

I lost 1 hour of my life this morning.

And where could it have gone?

No matter. Time gone is gone.

But i'll be darned if i ever sleep past 2 again......

Halloween supper this wed.... So there goes mambo out of the window. Sigh.

Aaaaanyway......

Ta-daaah......

Missed halloween at zouk, due to a family dinner thing... but hey, i learned how to do layered shots!

Felt like quite a bastard to back out on my friends, but i really should get cracking down to my work...

Next wed...


The last one before exams! make it count!

And after that, no more distractions, just study my arse off...

Testing testing 1,2,3...

You Have Low Self Esteem 28% of the Time

Generally, you feel pretty darn great about who you are, even when you mess up or fail. Occasionally, a huge setback will make you question yourself, but you pick yourself up quickly.

How is Your Self Esteem?

You Are 70% Open

You're a pretty open person - and you don't mind sharing the good, bad, and sometimes ugly. And while sometimes you do catch yourself blabbing on, you usually exhibit restraint. You're openness is quite refreshing, and it encourages other people to be open with you!

How Open Are You?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating

You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things. You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines. You should major in: Marketing Psychology Desgin Cognitive Science Economics Photography

What Should You Major In?

The wind
brings to mind a painful melancholy
aching of loneliness
searching for a soul
to share

the rain
pours out drops of emotion
floods to the ocean as silently
the room echoes

the darkness
surrounds the spirit
isolates the soul
looking everywhere
seeing nothing

Thanksgiving

As i ponder the events of the last few days, i am struck by one thing- That i have been blessed with a group of loyal and dedicated friends that have stuck through good times and bad, over the last 9 years.

Its the 9 year friends i pay tribute to now- We are all not perfect. The circumstances that brought us together might be unremarkable, but it sparked a fellowship that spanned tumultous times, even after breaking into different JCs, units, and Universities.

Reminiscing the past is a luxury that i indulge in too much. There are too many shared memories to recall right now, and anything short of an anthology of short stories would not do the fellowship justice.

Sadly in life, many things are not certain. Life brings its own ups and downs, a veritable rollercoaster ride of joy and sorrow.

But for me, theres always a bastion to return to, a 9 year pillar of friendship thats build on bonds too strong to be broken by word or action, a shelter of warmth and tolerance.

And for this i give thanks. For all the shit we did together and went through. For every bad joke i told, for every strangled chicken cry from jah, every false memory planted by lee, every clubbing story tim tells, every disgusting personal habit tay has, every gay action KH does, every strange story huili tells.

I give thanks.

Disturbed.

I just had a bad dream.

I was in some kind of function room, and it was some form of pageant for my hall people. I was watching people come in, dressed to kill, and some fat chick was trying to pick me up.

I mean, WHAT THE HELL?

And some chinese music was playing in the background, to the tune of some classical piece. Da dum dum daaaaaaaaa, da dum dum dummmm, da dum dum dada dada dum dum dummmmmm...

That kind of put my sunday mood off kilter. Note to self- If one has already slept 9 hours that day, more sleep may cause nightmares.

Musings

I never get a good photo of myself. Does this reflect an inner displeasure with my external appearance?

If there is a god up there, does he want us to spend time worshipping him or to live out our lives to the fullest?

The most precious asset.

Don't fucking waste my time.

Confusion Says:

Man with hand in pocket, always on the ball.

Never trust an asshole, for he is always full of shit.

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you were born upside down.

Man who jump of cliff is jumping to his own conclusion.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.

------------------
Be friendly to bacteria, its the only culture some people have!

Randomness.

Had a swim trial earlier. Didnt mean to join, just to swim. Now i cant feel my legs. Ouch. Haven't had a cramp in the water for damn long, now i remember how bad it feels.

TH band performed. Very well! Fantastic, gives me faith in local music again. wahaha. Far better than the other bands that were there tonight.

I wonder, what is the meaning of life?

What is the reason and rationale behind everything you do? The underlying motive behind human reaction and motion.

After certain thought, i believe that the reason for life- Is the quest for happiness. Why do we study? Because we are certain that if we do well we are happy. Or that we are programmed to feel happy when we do well. That brings up the question of free will. Which will be another night, another day. What can i say. Its just the same old brand new you. Aaargh. Back to the point. We do things to make ourselves happy. Would you do anything that does not bring yourself happiness? Maybe i'll go to the gym. While it does not bring me immediate happiness (rather it brings me pain and self inflicted torture), the belief that going regularly to the gym will make me better physically and hence bring me happiness in the long run.

Taking an economic point of view, the best way to lead your life is to maximise your satisfaction (utility) in whatever you do.

Or is it? It pains me to reduce the complexities of a varied and interesting life to such simple equations. We want to be happy. What we do make us happy. So we do things only to make ourselves happy. Is that all there is?

Night cycling!

Yay, going night cycling later.

Too bad i cant bring the dragonforce CD and blast it as i go. Its really good. FYI, dragonforce is the metal band whose mtv was featured a post ago. Inspirational indeed.

Projects due soon. Time to look at it again.

Well actually the main point was that im going night cycling. Btw thanks Kaiwei for the book. Im this close to returning ur copy and buying one for my own. Its really good.

Resolving my spiritual quandary soon. Time to touch base with my soul.

Inspirational Music

Now this is inspirational music.



Dragonforce rocks!

This was so funny i forgot to laugh.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.9
Mind:	6.3
Body:	6.1
Spirit:	5.9
Friends/Family:	3
Love:	0.8
Finance:	5.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Ahahahahahaha.

It all seems so clear now.

Days may be cloudy or sunny...

Nighttime comes and heightens each sensation. The cool wind sweeps across my cheek, as i sit, pondering the days that go bye, so steadily that weeks disappear without a trace.

It seems like i could have been here... well forever. Essentially, i have. The mood has taken over, the sombre melancholy that comes with both acceptance and apathy. The ultima state of entropy, where nothing can be done.

Have i sunk so low?

Motivation seems to slip from my grasp. The resolve of today melts into the conflict of tomorrows emotions. Unable to hold on, grasping at straws, i struggle in the torrent of my life. Knowing that i should save myself from this maelstrom of emotion, i struggle. I yearn to release myself from this torment that strikes at my heart and soul.

But how can i save myself, if i do not even know where safety lies?

I'm lost in a world where nothing seems certain.

I used to be sure of myself.

Now im not so sure.

And the truth dawns......

After the test.

I look at what i have done to prepare. I look at the time i spent to read through the notes, work on problems, question the theories and think through the assumptions. What do i get? I did get a better understanding of the subject. It may not be exam smart, but i feel i learnt it more thoroughly.

No matter how much i study, i will not be able to score 100%. Thats how i see it. There will always be some problem. As reluctant as i am to believe it, there are many, many more intelligent people out there. Yes i said it. As much as i want to believe that i am smart, there are many, many smarter people out there.

And it pisses me off!

Why?

I realise- When i was in primary school, i was near the bottom of a very high calibre class. After that in sec sch and in JC, i was near the top of a middle calibre class. And now in Uni, in Chem Engin especially, where all the "medicine rejects" and smartarses go... apparently history is cyclical. Back to the bottom of the top. Or so called the crap of the cream. Not just the PRCs and other foreign scholars. Chem Engin has gathered the cream of the nations engineers together. And apparently, im on the wrong end of the bell curve here.

So im not so smart i guess.

But im not going to stop at that.

You may be smarter. You may be more hardworking. You may have more time. You may understand better.

For now.

I promise you all this. You all want to keep me on the wrong side of the bell curve? Do try your best. I WILL NOT MAKE IT EASY.

This is my promise to myself. I will say it now. Either second class upper, or first class honours. I want it, i will work for it, and i WILL GET IT. I have come here for a reason. I am in NUS to get my degree. And i'll be damned if i don't do well. Because i always do the best i can in all circumstances. And i'll be damned if my best just cannot cut it.

I will not go quietly into the night.

Anticipation- Or is it dread?

Ok, second test coming on in half an hour......
This time round, did my groundwork. Went to ask around and see how others have done, studied with a few other people. Feeling a little bit more confident. But we shall see how it goes.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path.
When the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only i will remain.

Heart to heart.

I mean seriously, 6 of 12 is not bad.

But for me its HORRIBLE.

I cant remember the last time i did so badly for a test (besides chinese). Frankly its a blow to morale as well as a abrupt reminder that i screwed over my ENTIRE break to study for this damn test. What i can see from this-

Even though i study everyday, im not absorbing.
I need to practice more.
Studying alone is just screwing me over. Time to work with other people like the dirty hor more.
Its not enough to just read. Must SEE what is being taught. So? Practice, practice, practice. Fuck.


I mean, i did tell myself that i don't have to aim for the highest, the 5.1 CAP score... blah blah blah. But frankly, im not satisfied with myself. This is FAR from what i can do.

Pedal to the metal time.
Time to really sit down and look at what are my commitments, and what is important to me...

Revelations

The Maths test answers are out...... Now to see how i did......

(Checking)

I am sooo completely FUCKED.

More Photos

Ha`aheo ka ua i nâ pali
Ke nihi a`ela i ka nahele
E hahai (uhai) ana paha i ka liko
Pua `âhihi lehua o uka

Aloha `oe, aloha `oe
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo
One fond embrace,
A ho`i a`e au
Until we meet again

Aha!

This is classic.

Basic Aur Advanced?

So cool to do advanced... haha...

I realise one thing- When i went diving last weekend, i seemed to be on a permanent high... Looks like i really found something i enjoy totally. Haha...... Great. now i know what i like. At least one thing that i like. Feels good to be enthusiastic and bubbly...

AND ITS DAMN FUN LAH..........

Highly recommended to all. Ask me along too!

If you haven't gathered by now, i had a really great time last weekend. 4 dives on Saturday, 2 dives on Sunday, including a night dive, a drift dive, and a deep dive. Woohoo...... Starting to feel really confortable with my buoyancy control. Just that i think im still an air monster. But thats alright because apparently the other people are worse air monsters. *evil laughter*


Night dive was so serene... Dropping into darkness, with only a torch for illumination. It brings the group that much closer... Nobody got the balls to run off away from the divemaster. And with artificial illumination, everything looks brighter and sharper... And my divemaster caught a cuttlefish! A fricking huge cuttlefish! a fricking 2 kilo cuttlefish!!! I've never seen a cuttlefish that big in my life!

Man it was tasty. mmmmmmmm. deep fried cuttlefish for supper, in addition to the bbq buffet... Tay was right, this is the life. Sleep, scuba, beer, bbq.

Deep dive... well, it doesnt feel that bad. Couldnt tell i was under 82 feet (27 metres) of water. Thats about 9 stories deep? Imagine if something screwed up then. Woah. Thank god we didnt stay there for long. Anyway nothing really much to see there i guess. Mostly sand. =p

Want to go again...... but finances is going to be a problem. Especially since i think im gonna get my own equipment... Mask snorkel, fins and suit... Any willing sponsor? lol.

Till i meet you again, i will always remember the deep blue nothing...






A few photos to remember the days gone by...

Break!

Schools out, for September!
But it ain't out, forever!

Alright man...... Feeling exuberant... Time to go back to Aur!

Under the sea (da dum da dum dum)
Under the sea (da dum da dum dum)
down here its better
here where its wetter
take it from me! (da dum da dum dum)

Up on the land i work all day
under the sea i play away
down here its better
here where its wetter
Under the sea! (da dum dum dum da dum dum dum dum da dum dum dum da dum dum dum)

Mmmmm.... wet wet wet.... cant wait to be in the cold grasp of the water again...

Dread.

Critique due tomorrow. Or actually later today. Aaargh. Had the hor take a look at it. Results were not favourable. Hopefully the tutor looks at it in a different light.

It strikes me that as the author of the assignment i can be very very biased towards my point of view. Or perhaps my translation of what i want to say did not quite come out as well as i wanted to phrase it. Well. Perhaps the hor was a biased reader, he did argue against rather than for the article.

Is the 5.0 CAP score still an unattainable dream?

Insomnia

You know, i scoffed at the time my friend told me after he went to hall, he ended up sleeping 4 hours every night.

Now im suffering from that.

Aaaargh. When the insidious tendrils of consciousness worms its way into your brain, there is no escape...

Seeking sweet release into the embracing arms of slumber. Morpheus take me into his dreamland, where the Sandman reigns...

Exit light.
Ends all night.
Take my hand.
Off to never never land...

Plagiarism?

I just submitted my critique to www.turnitin.com, which apparently checks if your work has been plagiarised from other sources.

Imagine my suprise when i see that there is a 0% correlation between my work and whats floating around on the internet.

I always believed that was statistically impossible!

You know how they say if you put a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters in a room for a thousand years, you'll eventually get the complete works of shakespeare?

We have 6 billion people on the planet. Even if only 10% have access to the internet and publish their thoughts, thats still a lot of rubbish floating up there.

Which led me to believe that there is something wrong with the website.

We shall see...

Interesting Times

Lost a frisbee game by one point. Dammit. Ah well at least we put up a good fight. This was one game where i felt i really made a difference to the team, and not just as a sideliner. Its a good feeling. Hopefully this feeling returns often.

I seem to be playing almost every IBG sport. Thats just wierd. I guess im the one they like to call to fill in the numbers. Maybe im just compliant. Hmmm. But its fun.

The committee signups are open, time to decide what im going to choose to dedicate myself to for the next year of activities. Also tough. So many choices, so little time... Plus schoolwork is picking up. Maths is starting to seem like a foreign language to me. I need a translator to work it... aaargh.


That certain feeling has returned. Is this the one? Lets find out...

Addiction

Life has been going at a pleasant pace.
Campus life agrees with me. i don't regret not having to travel 3 hours a day. The rooms are pleasantly reminiscent of OCS, and the facilities are excellent. The resident hostelites are friendly and engaging (with the exception of a certain few) and even those are bearable to live with. I can envision staying here over many many weekends to come.

Its the closest thing to staying overseas and enjoying my independence that i can get, given that im still in Singapore.

Living here has me thinking about how much of my future am i willing to commit to the institution. Besides the obvious need for the points to stay, am i willing to do more just for the sake of doing the job?

Although i would have to keep in mind that there are more things to do besides hall activities. Already school work seems insurmountable, with new concepts and old being thrown around, and with the rust of two and a half years barely shaken off, its tough already trying keeping up.

Not that im not enjoying it. The only part that pisses me off is that i keep having to stare at an assignment for about half an hour before i start with doing anything. Thats the warmup time for my brain at the moment. Besides that everything seems fine. On the surface.

Except that my messenger keeps cocking up. I have many many problems connecting to msn. But its only in the absence of it that i realise that i have been a little too dependent on MSN for my own good. Its an irrational need for me to be online and on MSN any time my computer is on. I mean, most of the time its pretty distracting. What do i stay online for?

Seeking a cure.

Irritation.

There is something slightly disconcertening
when it takes me three days
of mental activity on and off
to complete a single math tutorial.

At least i finished it
But not without some help.

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKK.

Silence

Silence is beautiful.
Silence allows us to appreciate the world without the clutter of conversation that taints every waking moment.
Silence brings solemnity to grave occasions.
Silence brings emotions to a point- Where there is nothing left for people to say, but only for them to feel.
Silence enhances life. For without silence, we cannot appreciate the beauty of song.

And the point of this post? Nothing much, just ranted off what was on the top of my head. Besides my hair.

Rationale

I had just faced a pressing question. And i hope i had made the right choice.

It is always better to work from the bottom up. You will always have a better point of view when managing later from the top down. And with the grassroot support from the others, it will definitely be an easier term.

Chivalry? Lets take a look at it objectively. He does have more experience in the hall itself. Not that i would suffer so, but it means he knows his way around and how things work. In the long run, it will be more beneficial if we have a strong mandate and stand united behind a common front. Better that he run alone rather than compete. Furthermore, if during the period of his term, nay-sayers mutter "should have voted for the other one, he would have been a better choice", it would not be constructive to his workload nor his morale.

We all try to find our niche. I have many many options to explore. There are so many things to do!

And anyway, theres always next year. *evil laughter fade to black*

Retrospection on 21 years

Its been a while.

To those who remembered- I sincerely thank you all. Today, you have demonstrated how a single solitary message can lift the spirit.

How did i spend the end of my 21st year of life? I slept through 2 lectures. Spent 2 hours in a mediocre tutorial session. Chatted with a classmate i barely knew. Had dinner with a wonderful "daughter". (thank you dear!) Spent the night mulling over working, and eventually succumbing to the temptation of munchkins. Many many times.

I look at the friends i have made throughout my life. Each and everyone has affected me in some way. Without them, i would not be who i am today. For that i give thanks.

I look at the path my life has taken me so far. It has been interesting. It has been tough at times. It has always been enjoyable in some form. God grant me the ability to find my motivation to enjoy life as it comes, in any form or other.

Nobody lives a perfect life. We take imperfection, struggle with it, and learn from it. We craft our little lives to respond to the circumstances that make us, and grow from it. Always growing, always adapting. Always moving on.

Thinking of it, imperfection is a part of our lives. We all make mistakes. Some of us much more than others. It is imperfection that forces us to adapt. Imperfections that make us change. Imperfections that shape us to what we are. Imperfection that brings out the inner self. Heck, imperfections shape who we are and will be.

This year, i resolve to find the imperfections in my life. To make myself better than i am now. To challenge the personal limits i have set on myself. To break the barriers of self-doubt and lack of confidence.

For we are all more than we ever think we can be.

Mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I look up as i walk.

I look up as I walk
So that the tears won't fall
Remembering those those spring days
But I am all alone tonight

I look up as I walk
Counting the stars with tearful eyes
Remembering those summer days
But I am all alone tonight

Happiness lies beyond the clouds
Happiness lies up above the sky

I look up as I walk
So that the tears won't fall
Though the tears well up as I walk
For tonight I'm all alone tonight

Remembering those autumn days
But I am all alone tonight

Sadness lies in the shadow of the stars
Sadness lurks in the shadow of the moon

I look up as I walk
So that the tears won't fall
Though the tears well up as I walk
For tonight I'm all alone

Teething problems

Its a hard line to walk. To get the grades, to enjoy hall life, to have fun this 4 years. I'll do my best.

Just feeling f***ing irritated. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Going forward without going back

I really hate it when i want to do something, but i cant because i don't know enough.

For example, planning a timetable with a missing module.
Buying textbooks without knowing what to look out for.

On the bright side, i saw this earlier this month. And its time to SHARE!!!



Now thats MY IDOL.

Dammit.

How is my acoustic guitar like my ass?

It has a huge crack!!!

AAAAAAAAARGH.

Orientation

Compiled from notes from the time i didnt have internet access (curses!)

300706- 2245hrs

Have just settled into the hall, with the third wave of moving over and done with. Now im just lacking a few things here and there to settle this room as my home away from home. Sheesh. I didn’t want to, but I brought a lot of stuff over. Good thing my brother was here to help me move over.

The rooms more or less to my liking, with only one thing that really irks me. I STILL can’t connect to the internet. Apparently that will have to wait until my matriculation. DAMN. Somehow, I feel very lonely. Quiet. Like there’s something missing. I think I’ve become an internet junkie. Hooked onto the sweet taste of the gravel of the information superhighway. On the bright side, I’ve still got my music!

Waiting for Tim to move in too. Now Huili, me and tim are in the same block. What are the chances? Haha. I guess Huili did have great pulling power. I wonder if hall life is right for me. See if the activities suit me lah. If it’s all sports and games……. Well. We can see where that goes.

Damn this chair is low. Typing feels uncomfortable at this table. Writing as well. The table is a wee bit too high, the chair a wee bit too low… Maybe I can get used to it. Maybe not.

Went for jamming earlier. Sean, Keong, KH. Spent a lot of time waiting…… But it was fun. Just thrashing around, working our ways to the songs. Need more practice on all sides. Haha. Damn I need to practice too. I might bring my guitar over to hall, but see how. As it is, there isn’t much space to put it.

Somehow I think I missed the pizza and movie night. Couldn’t find it. *chuckle* Maybe it finished early. But I cant seem to bring myself to believe that. At least I managed to unpack to my liking. I need to find the kitchenette or pantry around here. The only communal facility I found was the toilets and the washing area. Apparently washing clothes is free, but drying will cost. That’s not too bad lah. Sun drying usually works.

Somebody please give me an internet connection soon. Im starting to suffer from withdrawal. Aaaaaargh.

010806- 0045hrs

Spent half the day at a useless Engin tea session. I mean, what the fuck man. We’re already in the engineering faculty, spare us the recommendations and details that make the degree soooooo good in the eyes of the world. The elaboration on the different disciplines was ok, but the only real takeaway was the usage of the CORS. And apparently that will be covered in the hall as well. So I pretty much wasted half a day when I could be playing my arse off doing stupid things and acting stupid. (Not my usual acting stupid, but stupid in a garang and enthusiastic way). Bah.

On the bright side, the people here are nice. They’re friendly and are easy to talk to. No problem interacting with the seniors, they’re more than happy to jabber off. Haha. My OG seems to be half foreign. Well, that’s interesting. Not much interaction between though, due to the inability to decipher their accents. Ah well. There’s always time to learn. At least I found a few people doing the same course. Haha. The engin tea session held a lot of meetings with old friends (mostly acquaintances) … Sec Sch, JC, BMT, OCS, unit…… Amazing. I didn’t know I knew that many people.

Orientation… Well. Cheering? Yeah. Mass dance? Yeah. Mass games? Yeah. But most importantly, theres the spirit. Its almost tangible. The pride of the group, the pride of the hall… Its warm. Friendly. And welcomes us with open arms. Those who choose to stay that is.

The Rag is AMAZING. There are no words I can use to describe it. The scope is astounding, the design is visionary, and the execution? To mention it as done with painful precision and tender loving care would demean it. The Rag is the embodiment of the TH spirit, the vigour of its residents, the energy of its tenants, the boldness to strive above and beyond its limits, transcending the boundaries of conventional wisdom. I now understand what it means to the TH-ians. What it means to be TH. It is to have pride in what we do, and to do our best, striving not for greater glory for yourself, but for the hall.

Heck, its what army was always meant to be. Above self, beyond others.

For hall and country.

020806- 0120hrs

On groups, in bonding. Dance en masse. The solemnity of the hall cheer. Ideas are like balls. The mood intensifier of good music.

Second day. I must say it was much more interesting than the first. Although the OG seemed half dead (I.E half gone.) I strongly believe the guys in my OG are ninjas. They seem to disappear when they’re not needed. Which leaves me to look lost and lonely and walk around. Haha. Well at least the OGLs are still there to talk to.

I seriously ponder my inability to talk rubbish. I’m not a chatterbox by habit. But the silence seems to press in so. Grasping at random threads of conversation seems to be so irritating to me. Maybe its because I don’t do it well. Haha. Laconic by nature, I am.

The mass dance was… disjointed. It felt very strange. Well im not one to really comment, not being a professional on the subject. But it did get a little psychomotor out there. Yeah. Maybe its just me and the few others who are having problems. But hey, since it’s a mass dance, nobody’s going to notice one person. That’s the beauty of strength in numbers.

The OGLs presented their hall cheer. I was struck by their solemnity. It was… beautiful. United in the voices, their actions… Any cult would be proud to have them as their cheer squad. A church congregation couldn’t have spoken with such conviction. Their actions were defined to military precision. I guess that’s because the guys WERE from the army. What a surprise. It was rousing, definitely.

Its always amazing what happens when you bounce ideas off other people. I hope the skit for starry starry night will be a success.

We had a great game in the evening, gladiator. Catapult warfare and running around tied to each other. I don’t know about you, but running from projectiles always gets my adrenaline going. The thrumming music from pirates of the Caribbean helped quite a bit. Its like cannons. Yeah.

Long day. Night out.

020806- 1347hrs

Taking a break before lunch. Had a fantastic series of games earlier. Some were quite disgusting, involving vegetables and fruits… Some were rehashes of normal games… All were fun. It was heartening to see that the OG is getting more involved. Together we managed to win the free-for-all game involving all the groups. Wonderful. Now just make sure that most of the OG people are around all the time…… and it would be perfect.

It is true. Lose your dignity and just go crazy. It does makes things more fun. Its even better when everyone does it. For God’s sake man, this is an orientation. Its not like looking stupid for 2 weeks will scar your life forever. Open up… Open up…

030806- 0310hrs

Supper again. I swear. That place is definitely not going to be the be all and end all for supper… its so… limited? What the hell. Theres only so much you can eat there. There’s gotta be someplace better. And I will find it.

Did my stint as the IC today. Heard a few funny comments. “You look like a Maori.” “Did anyone ever tell you that you look Pilipino?” “Are you pure Chinese?”And the all time bestseller, “Are you a second year student?”

There’s more and more international people in the group. Gotta take a few photos later on. French, Canadian, and an ABJ. Yup, that’s right. American born Japanese. Photos coming later.

I see why TH doesn’t have a fright night. The last game we played was scary enough. Following a walking, jerky character and imitating its movements… Man. Im wondering what happens if we find out we were following the WRONG character… Now that’s right out of a horror movie. I think we all had fun. Personally I find that’s more important than who won or lost. I’m wondering if that’s the wrong statement to voice when staying in a hall where winning seems to bring so much pride to the residents. Something to ponder over days to come.

I’ll have to say the games are interesting. And the situations and scenarios devised are ingenious. Looking forward to more.

Matriculating tomorrow. Finally some internet access? Yes please. *Booming evil laughter* HOHOHO…

060806- 0300hrs

Somewhat confused. Maybe im looking at the wrong signals. Whatever lah. Lets not think too much about it.

Past 2 days were quite fun. The night games were interesting and increased in complexity and scale. I’m impressed by the results of the effort they put into doing the games. It is a long long way to go for an orientation. But impressive nonetheless. Leaving out details of the game to maintain the surprise for future people who come in. Ya they all do that. The level of secrecy is amazing too.

--------------

Well orientation is over. The welcoming ceremony WAS touching. Moving to tears even. Some call it a hostel, we call it home.

Passion

Now i know how Huili can just disappear from our lives for 2 years, just like that.

Hall life is fantastic so far. Well, maybe its just the orientation. Im considering if a 4 year option is worthwhile. Lets see how the studies go...

Its nice to feel passionate about something.

Flatland Freestyler

My favourite kind of skateboarding.

And this guy is SICK.

Ramble, ramble, toil and travel...

Hmmm. No specific topic.

The weather is cranky. Either its cool, raining like crazy, or its hot.

I was watching that 70s show the entire week. Up to season 7. I think theres no point after that, the lead character jumped ship. The shows pretty much "jumped the shark". Now looking forward to the next half of South Park season 10 and Family Guy season 5. Coming out end of this year!

Lindsey Lohan guest starred in an episode of 70s show. Ya shes hot.

I was watching the last few minutes of Ms Singapore Universe. Jade Seah is hotter!

But she does bear a striking resemblance to a certain TCS actress...... yeah we all know. Fiona Xie. Was watching the new sitcom Maggi and Me. Its got a pretty lame name, a rather over-done premise, and it JUST happens to be a show about ghosts starting on the first day of the 7th month. Wow. What a coincidence.

But hey, its got Fiona Xie running around in a wedding dress! Now thats what i call entertainment.

Speaking of which, maggi mee was what i had for breakfast/lunch today. Woke late after a great night at Zouk. Mambo Revival- Playlist coming soon!

Alright, now im done here. Time to go read a friends blog- recommended by my other friends to melt my brains. Since i have no use for them right now... might as well go in for the works.

Song for the Moment

Go West - The Pet Shop Boys

Disgusted.

Singapore Idol MY ASS. Singapore laughingstock more like it. I was watching the performances of the contestants. They disgust me.

First thing first, don't bother to come and try if you don't have a good singing voice. Some of them do. MOST of them DON'T. Fine. Those with the good singing voices, all right and good for you all. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't try the onstage antics. Running around and shaking while singing is so demeaning. Let Britney Spears or Jennifer Lopez sell albums that way. If you look normal like the rest of us, for gods sake, its a singing contest, not a booty shaking contest. PUT SOME SOUL INTO YOUR SOUND.

Aaaaaargh.

Paradise Lost

At night when i sleep, i close my eyes...

and the world appears through a blue tempered lens... Floating in a blue neverwhere... life in a silent film, broken by the steady flow of bubbles escaping my breathing regulator...

I lie suspended, face down, taking in the breathless expanse of corals that stretch as far as the eyes can see... schools of fishes of every colour and stripe darting, floating, gliding between the corals, playing little fish games, exploring little fish worlds, living the marine life...

Silently we float, the aliens, befinned and suited up, observing, and moving on... Out in the distance, a shape moves. Slowly you distinguish a turtle, its shell seperating from the dulled colours among the rock, majestically moving at an emperors place. The old man of the sea, his strokes distinguished and dignified, he takes his time and glides about his domain at his leisure. I watch with interest, and perhaps a little awe. His shape, so clumsy and bulbous above water, now seemed to soar with every stroke of his little legs.

Suddenly, unconsciously, my mouth clenches tight onto the regulator. I awake with a start. Sunlight streams through the gaps of the windows. All is silent besides the hissing of the air-conditioner in the little hut i call home for the 5 days i spent in Aur. It was just a dream, i think. But until now, even after leaving the island... My mind feels like its on a boat, rocking with invisible waves. When i close my eyes, imaginary worlds float before my sight, teasing, enticing, drawing me into its cool sweet embrace.

Somedays we capture what we want from the sea.

Somedays, the sea captures us.

Finale

A stirring end to the world cup.

Zidane, we salute you!

Germany VS Italy

I have an interesting idea. We should have a Oscar Award ceremony for footballers. Celebrating the best actors in the league. Points of contention can be "Best innocent look", "best 'Hey, who said thats a foul?'", "best face screwed up in pain", "Friendliest face before match, most offensive after"....... ooh the list goes on and on.

Germany vs Italy deserves a special recommendation. This is the best match i've seen so far. Even Angela Merkel is watching! Play is fast and furious, both sides evenly matched. I predict penalties. Its already extra time, first half, and no goals yet. Probably none to come. This has got to be the match with the most number of acrobatics i have ever seen. Rolling, flying...... the players are throwing themselves against the ball...

Goodbye Convergys! HELLO BANGKOK!!!

Last day of work today. So SAD.......... will miss having fun with all the temps, and working with the perm staff. Thanks for everything!

Had a nice Dim Sum lunch with Jennifer, Shuhui and Weisum (my 3 bosses). haha


And........here we go. Me and my 3 bosses. Thanks for everything!


Next step- Bangkok! WOOHOO!!!

Shopping, F***ing......... well probably just shopping. Its dangerous there. Lots of shopping.... ahaha.

Now if only somebody will wake me up in time for the Germany-Italy match tonight.......

Typing this while ENGLAND plays a horrible match

Honestly, beyond Beckham and his posse of good lookers, noone is going to bother to support England. Their playing style sucks. I can't for the life of me believe that people actually support how England plays. Im sitting here during the England-Portugal match typing this. There are 13 guys in this room. 4 are watching the game. 6 are playing munchkins. 2 are typing randomly on their laptops. (myself included) my brother is just looking bored. I now remember why i found soccer boring.

But this wasn't always so. For me, soccer watching is a once-every-four-year event. Yup, thats just the world cup. As my friend yannie, unofficially known as "Jesus" says- "thats the closest we're ever gonna get to world war." Honestly, as the second world cup im watching.... its not fantastic.

I supported Argentina. Why? i played their (virtual) team in Winning 11 on the Xbox. And i like their jersey colours. Besides that? do i give a rats ass? No...... Do i care? No...... But they play well. Their loss to Germany was just a fluke...... aaargh. Horrible. I was the sole argentinian supporter in a room full of Germany supporters... good thing my best friend didnt throw me out. haha.

Anyway, last friday was the last day at work for a few of my colleagues. Temps that is. We took a goodbye photo. After a little photoshop editing, here it is:





Well, not that i want to say this: GOOOOOOOO PORTUGAL!
thats all for tonight. Thank you folks!

Control

It took me an entire night to reformat my laptop to my liking, reinstalling windows and repartitioning the drive.

But was it worth it?

Oh YES.

Completely, and absolutely, Moo.

Sometimes no word can describe how you're really feeling.

Mundanity strikes, dragging life into mindless routine. I took a job to occupy my time so that life won't plod on by so slowly. Its worked too well. I cant wait for the next two weeks to be over. Time to move on. There are more things in life that happen besides office work. I haven't been to a club in 4 months and its showing.

The word eludes me- How with 2 days a week of relaxation, people can somehow work out a way to enjoy themselves more than a month of sundays. But give a man a week.... and somehow even the most enjoyable activities pale to insignificance. Any army boy can tell you that. How suddenly one day of freedom seems so important, as a rest stop, and as a priming of the spirit against the dark week ahead.

The most interesting thing that happened to me the last few days was a good game of munchkins. How much worse than that can life get?

I need to buckle down and start preparing for Uni. Read up on my math, get myself mentally prepared to face yet another extremely competitive environment... I sometimes wonder if i can make it. If i can take the stress of reimmersing myself into the deep end.

Then i wonder- What is it all about anyway? I cant imagine how the people at my workplace take it. When they finish their studies, they end up in the same office, working the same job, doing the same things.... week after endless week, month after endless month... I admire their stamina. After 2 months of doing a temps job there, my brain feels numb. I cannot fathom how the perm staff manage.

Im losing the war against flab. I need to lose, lose, lose, what i gained, gained, gained. This is intolerable. I cannot stand what is happening to me. My self control is gone. I used to have no problem exercising alone before army... now it seems like such a chore. Somehow, someway, i need to influence myself. But that can only come from within. Where inside me can i find a reason to do what needs to be done?

I feel like im losing control of my life. There is a point where i clearly knew what i want, what i need, what i must do. Somehow somewhere i need to find that point again. Regain the focus. Reach my personal Nirvana so to say. Personal mastery seems so far away. I had it in my grasp... But it slipped.

I will not doom myself to failure. I have always believed in self-actualization. The mind creates its own paradigms. I will succeed. Because i can. And i will.

You know how sometimes, words cannot express exactly how you feel? That there is no combination of characters that unlock the lexicon of language to unravel the twisting pathways of feeling? Thats right. How do i feel right now? Completely, and absolutely, MOO.

If God is so smart, why do you fart?

I have just read two fantastic books.

The Religion War - Scott Adams
Dude, Where's my Country? - Michael Moore

I wanted to blog more but got sidetracked by reading other people's blogs. DANG.

World Cup Fever?

Can't believe that im actually watching the world cup. Somehow while watching the game, i happened to miss all the crucial moments, either talking to friends, or doing something else. bah. Basically i saw everything except the highlights... =(

Anyway, last day with my aunt's car. RUN AROUND!!!!!

We mourn your passing.

To the memory of Lao Shi, who passed away last friday, the 2nd of June. May you always walk in the grace of God.

I think Ive already lost you
I think youre already gone
I think Im finally scared now
You think Im weak - but I think youre wrong
I think youre already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now Im relaxed - I cant be sure

I think youre so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think Im just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong its a problem Im dealing

If youre gone - maybe its time to go home
Theres an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If youre gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz theres a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet youre hard to get over
I bet the room just wont shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think youre so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think Im just scared - that I know too much
I cant relate and thats a problem Im feeling

If youre gone - maybe its time to go home
Theres an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If youre gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz theres a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think youre so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think Im just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong its a problem Im dealing

If youre gone - maybe its time to go home
Theres an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If youre gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz theres a little bit of something me
In everything in you

"The Lord is my shepherd, i shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for you are here with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me. you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Psalms 23:1-6

Munchkins

Never again will there be a contest so prolonged.
A quest so daunting
A need so strong.

Never shall the five convene
remain at the scene
to battle
test their mettle
An all out war
to abjure and abhor

The struggle to win
to be the ultimate munchkin


Someone should state on the box- not to be played for longer than 1.5 hrs for a single game. I just felt 3 hours of my life go down the drain.

But hey, its fun!

All your money are belong to us.

Nuff said. Oy, owe money pay money ar!

Just shoot me and get it over and done with.

I do enjoy spending time with you, i do.

But god, this is driving me insane. Maybe im horrible at reading signals. Maybe im thinking things are there when they aren't. But i know one thing. It drives me crazy to see you there, just within reach, but untouchable. Friends. Yes. More? It drives me nuts. I've been spending quite some time with you. God knows, i enjoy it. But from there, what? stay at this stage? I don't know. Move on? I don't know. You're willing to spend time with me. Yes. We can talk. Yes. But what is this nagging feeling of doubt that plagues me as i go? Am i not good enough? Am i perhaps too tall/dark/fat/kentang/boring? I always hoped you enjoyed our time together as much as i did. Even as friends. Because god knows, i want to make you happy. I want to see the smile thats in your eyes light up your face, like a candle in deep darkness. I want to talk to you when you're down, and cheer you up. I want to hold your hand, and feel the warmth of your hand touching mine, locked in a requited clasp. I want to put my arm around your shoulder and stroke your lovely long hair. I want to be the only person that you will ever need.

I want to hold you in my arms, look deep into your eyes, and tell you that i love you.

But this is a cruel world, and we do not always get what we want.

Important decisions...

Who to vote for? Taylor Hicks or Kathryn?(i think its spelled that way)

But man, does she sound great in "Somewhere over the rainbow"...

Anyway more importantly, i got to work on my finances. In order to have enough money to last me to uni (not even saying THROUGH), i got to scrimp and save every cent i have. Daily spending down, until BKK trip. Damn...

Lost in thought?

I hate people who suddenly leave off a conversation. Its like they're there for a while... then suddenly you get the impression you're talking to a wall.

Lost-

Hmm. not such a good beginning to a week.

Dropped my phone in the middle of a 4 lane carriageway. Feels kind of silly. Or sad. Perhaps it might be tragic... Its not that it wants to be lost. But somehow, the loss feels...... Well, preordained. Its not the first phone i've lost. At least i don't lose it often.

Tragedy struck. I walked back, pacing myself to the point of loss. The phone was nowhere to be found. The surface of the metalled roads leading to suntec were flat and even. Nowhere in sight was the little black package that heralded my audio package. My heart fell. It was gone for good.

I imagine the crunch as tires ram over the poor defenceless thing.

Adieu. Its been a good two years. May you reach the gates of the great charging slot in the sky peacefully.

Mixed Musings

To my friends that went on a half-assed trip through half of south-east asia... welcome home. Its great to be back isnt it?

I marvel at the kind of people who can just drop everything and pack up and go, without a clear goal in sight. It takes a remarkable leap of faith to go without a complete idea of the destination. Life itself can be taken that way- I mean, we all end up in a coffin, but how are we going to get there? Thats the beauty of life.

Well,its not like i don't regret going with you. I've had a good time in Singapore the past few weeks. Working life isn't that much of a drag when you have hilarious colleagues, as well as work thats varied. (im not going to say interesting because mostly it isn't.) But hey, theres always that part of me that regrets not going with you all... Well, we're young, there's always other times.

The drama of Singapore politics...... I mean, seriously, this time its total bull crap. Politics shouldn't be about carrots and sticks. It should be about idealogies and plans. Going into the fray with half-assed plans about using national reserves to subsidise spending is not going to cut the cheese. Eventually you realise that these are short term solutions that do not work at the cause of the problem, but instead work on alleviating the effects. I praise the one-party system. It has brought us far, and i hope it will bring us further. LKY, GCK and LHL, do your best. You have brought us far. We trust you to bring us further. Not that im lambasting the opposition. Some are serious people who know what they are doing. Kudos to the AMK Suicide Six. It takes guts to bring you there. The people appreciate you. But not to say that all the people are intelligent. A friend wrote- Do not vote opposition for the sake of opposing. USE YOUR DAMN BRAINS. While they are noble and good, their ideals cant hold water for nuts.

i still take the stand that G* is an idiot. If you're wrong, admit it. Your actions and words are too glib to be true. And leaving the country one day after the election? I see. Oooh it looks so coincidental...... What if you had won? Or if it didn't happen? Would you still be flying?

More to come...

Deus Ex Machina

MTHRFCKNG ISPs...... Someday when the internet is truely free, all of you will burn in hell for the SIN of charging access for the internet...... SOMEDAY!!!!!

-Flashback-

System Log
Accesing Internet...
...
INTERNET EXPLORER ENABLED.
www.securitybulletin.net- Your computer is infected! go to this www.randomsecuritysoftwaresite.com to download updates on windows and upgrade your security software!
...
..
.(Something seems suspicious.)
..
...
FIREFOX ENABLED.
www.yahoo.com
SEARCH- www.securitybulletin.net
Search Results-> 1-10 out of 756
1. WWW.SECURITYBULLETIN.NET - Your computer has been infected by the Smitfraud.Worm. Please follow the following instructions to clean......
......
.....
....
...(Oh yeah? HiJack THIS!)
....
.....
......
HIJACK THIS ENABLED.
MODIFYING SYSTEM REGISTRY...
DELETING ALL NON RECOGNISABLE REGISTRY ENTRIES...
DONE.

NET CONNECTION ERROR. WILL YOU RESTART YOUR CONNECTION?
Y/N
...
Y.
CONNECTION RESTARTED...
FAILED TO AUTHENTICATE.
RETRY, ABORT, FAIL?
......
.....
....
...
..
.
..
...
....
.....
......
ENTER PANIC MODE.
FAULT DETECTED- BILL HAS NOT BEEN PAID <---- (CURSES YOU ISP SCUM!!!)
STARTING SELF-REPAIRING PROCEDURES...
DONE.
(Break)

And after numerous tries, i finally managed to get the connection back on. Apparently some of the suspicious registry entries were essential for my net connection to work. damn......
Well anyway, im back. after 2 days of non-surfing. And man i miss it...

To Do-

Read-
Paradise Lost, Joh Milton
That damn book by Dante about hell i cant remember its name

To buy-
Sandman Series
Lucifer Series

Aaaaargh.... knowledge is power.... and i feel stupid.

Satisfaction

Satisfaction is leaving knowing you've done all you can.
Or finishing a mammoth task unexpectedly ahead of schedule.

Or it can be reading a great book.
Or having good friends.

Or even,
gettig excel to work for you. haha.

I want to watch Mirrormask!

Learning

THAT is the core of living. Of course it is only my opinion. But i will keep my opinion to myself, you all go get your own.

There is distinct pleasure in learning new things everyday, especially if these are skills that will come in handy in the future, or are skills that you have wanted to learn for a long time.

Excel programming has become not so bad... using formulas and autosums... and to master the dreaded pivot table... hey not so fast, but it will come soon.
Am still at work, but should be leaving soon. Anyway, i think its easier to write immediately after work, where theres a lag time before things start happening again. My nights are taken up by Family Guy and That 70s Show anyway.

Blackman returns

It seems an age and a half since i last posted. I had decided to give up blogging continuously as it seemed quite a.... well, its not quite what i want to do ya.

But hey, blogging has its perks and associated problems too. Its practically an open journal. What to do with it doesnt stem from the medium. Rather, it is the artist who expresses himself that taints the medium and gives it a bad (or good) name.

But im getting off the point.

Over the last few weeks.....
1. Saw a friend getting married.
2. Chained a friend to a lamppost on his birthday. (Different friend.)
3. Went looking for a job.
4. Found a job. w0000t. Thank you you dirty hor.
5. Unearthed a cache of 70s and 80s music. THANK YOU GOD...
6. Continued on my viewing of 70s show and Family Guy
7. Read Lucifer. Fantastic books. It is a must read.
8. Picked up the Sandman Companion at the library, and decided that Sandman ought to be elevated to literature status.
9. Parking at the army market is a bitch.
10. Its better to be blackie than "sweet chocolate coated banana." Eeeeeew.

Warm fuzzy feeling...

Written by Scott Adams, on the DilbertBlog

Winning

Recently there was a tennis tournament in Indian Wells. It’s one of the biggest tournaments not counting the four “Grand Slam” events. Because tennis is an individual sport, there are always great stories within the game. This year’s biggest story was James Blake’s comeback.

If you don’t follow the game, let me give you some background. Blake is the son of an African-American dad and an English mom. He was raised in Connecticut and had to wear a back brace for years when he was a kid. He took up tennis, excelled, and went to Harvard for two years before going pro. He looked promising, along with a number of other young Americans, but not top 10 material. He was most noted for his sex appeal and great personality.

I became a fan after watching him play Lleyton Hewitt a few years ago. After some calls that went against Hewitt, the Aussie singled out an African-American linesperson and complained to the chair umpire. Hewitt used a poor choice of words that led observers to think he was complaining of racial favoritism. Hewitt says he didn’t mean it that way, but nonetheless it became the story. And the media tried hard to get Blake to bite. They wanted him to complain about racism, maybe get a little mad about it. That’s good TV. But Blake didn’t take the bait. He politely pointed out that people say things in the heat of the moment, and whatever Hewitt said was Hewitt’s problem, not his. It seemed to me the perfect response. Sometimes trivializing is the best strategy.

Blake’s ranking bobbed up and down, peaking at 22 in the world. He shaved his dreadlocks and gave up his sex symbol image along with millions in potential endorsements. (I’m guessing his hair was prematurely thinning.) Then in 2004 he had the year from Hell. He ran into a tennis net post and broke his neck. Then he got a shingles virus in his face that paralyzed it on one side. Then his dad died.

There was some doubt that Blake would ever play tennis again. He watched the major tournaments from his couch and wondered about his future. In time, his body recovered, and he felt that he had been given a second chance. He grabbed it by the neck.

I don’t know what kind of training he did, but oh-my-god. I watched him play in person during the first week of the Indian Wells tournament and thought it couldn’t be the same guy. There was ferocity to his strokes. He wasn’t just hitting the ball, he was punishing it. His court speed was breathtaking. His shot selection was brilliant. His backhand, previously a weakness, had become a rocket.

You only needed to listen to the court sounds to know that Blake was heading deep into the tournament. When a tennis racket strikes a ball perfectly, it creates a sound wave that spectators can feel in their entire bodies. If you play tennis yourself, you can practically close your eyes and know who is winning.

Blake blasted through the field of world-class tennis players and found himself in an unlikely semi-final with a Spanish force of nature named Rafael Nadal. Nadal is the #2 player in the world. He hits with brutal topspin. It’s a relentless attack that less than a handful of elite players have been able to withstand in the past year.

Nadal brought his best, but Blake blew past with a combination of game and gamesmanship that surprised almost everyone, not the least Nadal himself.

Now it was time for the championship match against Roger Federer, the best player in the world. Correction – make that the best tennis player who has ever lived. That’s not just my opinion. He already has seven Grand Slam wins. If he stays healthy, many people expect him to hold every important record in tennis.

Against all odds, Blake blazed to a 4-1 first set advantage against the all-time greatest player on earth. It seemed as though nothing could stop him.

And then something happened. The momentum shifted. The rest of the match was all Federer. Blake seemed to fade away, settling for runner-up, but his effort that week was enough to put him in the top ten in the world.

At the trophy ceremony, Blake spoke to the crowd. He said that in 2004, when he was in the hospital with a broken neck, only one tennis player sent him a note to wish him well. It was Roger Federer.

I wanted Blake to win that match, yet somehow, by losing he found perfection.

Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,

Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori.

hmmm.

Your Birthdate: August 25

You excel at anything difficult or high tech. In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek. It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with. Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots! Your strength: Your unfailing logic Your weakness: Loving machines more than people Your power color: Tan Your power symbol: Pi Your power month: July

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