Musings

My mom tells me im easy to feed. Give me an omelette for dinner everyday and im happy. Upon reflection, i realise, hey thats kind of true. Maybe we all do develop taste for rich food, crave for abalone and sharks fin every now and then. But when it all boils down, it doesnt matter what you eat. As long as its filling.

People often look for many things in life. There will always be high goals and unattainable dreams. Sometimes you reach them, sometimes you don't. Many times the weight of society crashes down on your unfortunate dreams, crushing them beneath the big black boot of reality. Sometimes you learn to throw off the chains and fly, soaring above and beyond what you imagined to be your limit.

Its sad that many of us will never become what we want to become in society. We all have big dreams, and want to make it big. Unfortunately, life is a harsh mistress. We may not always find the strength to pursue our course. Sometimes we may just feel like giving up.

But hey, sometimes its the journey, not the destination that matters.
Its the friends that you make along the way.
Its the lessons you learn about yourself.
Its the pain and suffering that happened to you.
Its the way you know you'll never be the same again.
Life is a journey of self discovery. Everyone will have different experiences. Live life to the fullest, for the next day, you may be gone.

What prompted this musing on such a sombre topic? i dunno. i was on the bus chatting with zhongwei the other day. And i distinctly remember saying to him- not everyone will be able to reach the top.
I was looking at an article on the net the other day, and they stated that universities grade students compared to each other. therefore not everyone will be able to do well, because you have to do better than others.
Frankly i feel its sad that good work cannot just be recognised for its own goodness. In this society, it has to be better than the rest.
But onfortunately, thats the way life is.
Spending an eternity of time jumping to someone elses tune.

100th post

Damn its been a long time coming!

Good night?

Busy day... Went to get stuff for crabbing, bought Kevin's gift, went for his suprise party. Its really nice to see a suprise party actually work out... I could see the shock in his eyes when he stepped in. Looking back at this two years, there was really a lot that we went through together. One thing i regret, is not knowing him well enough. For someone who was with me throughout my army experience, i find my relationship with him very...... faded. Strange, i think. Very strange, i know. Somehow something didnt go right somewhere. Sigh. A wasted opportunity.

Anyway i was pleasantly suprised (and slightly envious) to find that his family is so close. You can really see the love and care they have for him... To the extent that his sister managed to pull so many strings and throw a complete suprise party for him...... Its...... heartwarming. To say the least. Its a closely knit family group, which is sadly a rare specimen...

Being a big brother. How much have i accomplished? Whenever i hear senior officers talk they liken leadership to being like an elder sibling or being a parent. Have i been that good a leader as i should have been? I can't say that i've been the best of influences on my brother. I can't say that i've always treated him well and protected him. Many times to the contrary.

Sigh. Much reflection will follow.

Crabbing. Caught less crabs, but managed to cook them all!!! Hahaha got abt 4 fair sized crabs (seafood restaurant size) that we managed to gut and got Andrew to cook. Man, experience in Cafe Cartel comes in handy with spices and other stuff that makes it taste oh so good...... Although we didnt catch much it was still a pleasant experience... Its nice just to sit there and stone looking at the high rise buildings across the river. Brings the mind to think about certain events and certain people.

And its DAMN FUN on the back of a pickup truck blasting ACDC on the speakers. More of that good shite please.

Driving test next week. Hope the conditions are favorable and my practice is enough. Im just pissed that a lot of it relies on chance and how the road favours you. I will pass on my first try. This is my promise to myself. I will do it. Because i know i can do it.

Sweet Emotion

Tis such sweet emotion thus
to clear the room once called my own
this feeling, like desire, like lust
departing from an ancient throne

Forth the dusty shelves has left
Regretless, a job justly done.
Silent and empty, clear and bereft
the ex-owner heads out for some fun!

In an attempt to save myself the complete deterioration of my language skills, i have entered a collaboration with a friend to start an... (suprise suprise) Online Novel. it will be written as a series of short stories spanning genres and styles, and the best part- it will be written chapter by chapter, on a daily basis.

Destination Unknown
A collection of short stories in shorter parts

Keep updated!

Type- Hey gtg now before i lose the urge to exercise...

-logoff-

1 hour later...

Type- F*** it, 3-4km, 40 pushups and 100 situps later, im feeling F*******G UNFIT.

Time to exercise some discipline and maintain a steady regime...

Activity

Ok its time to stop using this wisdom tooth thing as a crutch to extend my withdrawal from society and procrastination to find work. Its about time i got off my ass and did somethin besides reading comics and playing heroes 3. HEROES 3 for gods sake...

Convalescence...

If there's one thing i learnt over the last few days of slacking at home, its the value of friendship.

the days feel truly empty when there's not much to do. And little else especially if you just got your tooth plucked. I really appreciate the friends that visit from time to time who keep the colour in my day. Or the logging on past midnight to find a huge 3 way conversation in progress... Or that little message from someone who cared. It all adds up. It all counts. And im all the better off for it.

If ever you had a rough time in your life, sit back and don't hesitate to ask for help. There will always be guardian angels who will look out for you in times of need. Who cheer you up in times of trouble. And provide companionship in every way.

Even if they all laugh at me for having chipmunk cheeks. THEY WILL ALL DIE FOR THAT... bastards. Can't live without them. =)

Max Pain.

I love general anaesthesia. The sensation is so... cloudy. Its like falling asleep perfectly, without any of the tossing and turning and other unnecessary involuntary actions before surrendering to the deep blue never.

Took out 4 wisdom teeth today... feeling the pain... ouch. I tell myself that its better to get it out now... looking at the x-ray, my wisdom teeth are growing sideways. You know like teeth are all n-shaped? my wisdom teeth looked c-shaped and reverse c-shaped. Yup basically if they come out they'll push the rest of my teeth together. Which will provide complications... So its best that i take it out now... whew. Just endure the pain and i guess it'll go away. Meanwhile i regret sleeping so much today. My body clock's out of whack. Hopefully can recover quickly so can do something more meaningful with my time. Get the mind off the slight pain.

Just when i needed you most

You packed in the morning, I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing the door
I didn't stand in your way.

But I miss you more than I missed you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me just when I needed you most
Left me just when I needed you most.

Now most every morning, I stare out the window
And I think about where you might be
I've written you letters that I'd like to send
If you would just send one to me.

'Cause I need you more than I needed before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me just when I needed you most
Left me just when I needed you most.

You packed in the morning, I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing the door
I didn't stand in your way.

Now I love you more than I loved you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me just when I needed you most
Oh yeah, you left me just when I needed you most
You left me just when I needed you most.

A Hole in my Soul...

Something feels missing from my life.

Time to rethink what i want to do.

Of course i have the time.

What do i want out of life?

All about Mormons...

Sitting tight at yck station, i was waiting merrily for my bus to come after my driving lesson this morning. Till 2 figures appeared at the corner of my vision.

Dressed in white and black, with a funny brown yellow tie, the two of them approach the station, armed with a little black book and the moral justification of the righteous.

Mormons.

Seriously i wonder how they end up doing this. Do they believe in their religion so strongly that they feel the need to proselytise it in public places? One of them actually stopped me once at an ATM machine... i was quite suspicious about that, was wondering if he was trying to get my atm card number or something. Who knows what could be under that friendly mask and little black book.

Some thoughts about mormons...
1. I wonder how they get people to do the conversion. Maybe its a punishment for all we know. "Hey you, you didnt pray properly today. Go out and don't come back until you convert 3 more hapless Singaporeans."

2. For all we know, it might be a cover for a time share business. "If you come to our church and listen in, we'll promise u that you will cut off 2 years in your liability for a lifetime in hell. Of course, the talk won't last 2 years.It might be a wee bit longer..."

3. Why do they all dress the same? Is it a school uniform or something? Who knows, maybe its a fixed regulation so that people who have been approached before know how to siam them when they see them. "OMG! its the f***ing ugly tie people! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"

4. If they approached Mother Mary about God, would that be sexual harassment?

Bank Account in distress...

The pall in the atmosphere is apparant, as the doctor walks out of the room, into a corridor of patient worriers. The owner looks up at the good doctor.

"Doctor, doctor, what is your diagnosis?"

The doctor sighs. "Was that bank account addicted to any form of drugs?"

The owner wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion. "No doctor. Whats wrong with it?"

The doctor looked gravely into the owner's eyes. "Its suffering from withdrawal symptoms."

Weekend.

This weekend was crap.

I slept through saturday, and did nothing worthwhile on sunday.

If you think that i like charging people or giving punishment, i suggest you think again. You all know im a nice guy. It is as painful for me as it is for you. I hate resorting to this kind of measures. But if you don't take me seriously that is the result.

Bah. You all don't appreciate what some of us go through for you all.

If you think i don't care, then i have nothing to say. Obviously there must be something wrong with me. I ask u all if u have any questions you all don't ask. I laid down the law straight, talked to you all nicely, warned you all of the consequences.

And you blatantly ignore my advice.

Im not going to preach about this anymore. Im as sick of this battalion as you are. If you do end up under me next time, remember. And don't make the same mistake again.

A.I

Remember a time when artificial intelligence was thought to be just around the corner?

Hmmm... movies like AI and I, Robot glamourised the arrival of artificial intelligence. Robots are going to have a large part in the next act of the Play of Man.

Anyway lets check this out-

Me: *clicks print document*

Com: "Printer error, please check printer."

Me: *Checks printer*

Printer: "Error. Out of colour ink. Please press.....and replace the catridge."

Me. "Hmmm...let try printing black and white."

5 minutes and 3 tries later...

Com: "Failed to print."

Printer: "Out of colour ink."

Me: "IM F&(#% PRINTING A BLACK AND WHITE DOCUMENT!!!!!"

Artificial intelligence? Nah, don't think so. Hey maybe i'll send this to Scott Adams. Inspiration for the next dilbert comic.