Why?

I cant focus. Ouch. Running haywire. Where is the. Discipline. Desire. Love. No will. No time. No skill?

Can't make myself do things without a major force of will. Can barely get myself to cut my hair, much less exercise regularly. if once a month is regular. Bah. What happened?

My willpower is slowly draining away, being sapped by the insiduous taint of complacency? By the devilish tentacles of apathy? Or does it stem from a lack of direction?

Procrastination and masturbation are the same thing, because essentially you're just screwing yourself.

Well, maybe after a while this might all blow off. Who knows. Or things would come to a complete impasse and screw up my life in some way or other. i just know that i have to "wake up my idea".

On the interesting side... Hypothesis that Rot Spreads from the Top was true. It is infinitely visible...

Well at least...
Finally completed Guild Wars. haha, 97hrs. w0000t... Addicted? Nooo.... thats 500hrs in 2 months. Now thats addiction. im only 200...

But is that any consolation?

Now Playing-
Black Eyed Peas- Don't Lie
Ella Fitzgerald - Lets call the whole thing off
Guild Wars (w00000t... LOL ROFLMAO)

w0000000000t.

They can't take that away from me

I wont let one in on a sorrowful note
Though by tomorrow you're gone
The song is ended but as the songwriter wrote
the melody lingers on
They may take you from me
I'll miss your fond caress
But though they take you from me
i'll still posess...
The way you wear your hat
the way you sip your tea
the memory of all that
no,no, they cant take that away from me
the way your smile just beams,
the way you sing off key
the way you haunt my dreams,
no no they cant take that away from me
we may never never meet again on the bumpy road to love
still i'll always, always keep the memory of
the way you hold your knife
the way we dance till three
the way you changed my life
no, no they cant take that away from me
no,
they cant take that away from me!

Musings...

Things i plucked out from assorted musings, sitting in an ops room, confined within the area for 2 days...

Hypothesis of Leadership by example
Rot spreads from the top.

Hypothesis of responsibility
Not just to do the right things, but to do the right things right.

Psychosomatic impressions- Mind over body, live life the way you think you should.

Idiosyncracies- Manners, attitude, arrogance.

Ideals- An officer and a gentlemen.

Decoding? do it yourself you lazy bastards...

Firsts!

Hmmm. Elation.

Many firsts today. Its the first time my OC asked me to go early to facilitate handover. And he didnt appear until most of it was over. Taking advantage of his 2nd in command? I think its trust that i can do what needs to be done.
First time i gave an ops backbrief. Didnt get flamed. So it was a relief. Guess i knew my stuff.
first time i got praised for good work (presentation!) So i DID know my stuff. =)

Hard work + effort = job well done.

Guess some things dont change even in this dystopic place.

*disclaimer- was commented about talking too fast and beating around the bush a little. But hey, who's perfect?

Additional- this is the first positive post in a LOOOONG time...