Control

It took me an entire night to reformat my laptop to my liking, reinstalling windows and repartitioning the drive.

But was it worth it?

Oh YES.

Completely, and absolutely, Moo.

Sometimes no word can describe how you're really feeling.

Mundanity strikes, dragging life into mindless routine. I took a job to occupy my time so that life won't plod on by so slowly. Its worked too well. I cant wait for the next two weeks to be over. Time to move on. There are more things in life that happen besides office work. I haven't been to a club in 4 months and its showing.

The word eludes me- How with 2 days a week of relaxation, people can somehow work out a way to enjoy themselves more than a month of sundays. But give a man a week.... and somehow even the most enjoyable activities pale to insignificance. Any army boy can tell you that. How suddenly one day of freedom seems so important, as a rest stop, and as a priming of the spirit against the dark week ahead.

The most interesting thing that happened to me the last few days was a good game of munchkins. How much worse than that can life get?

I need to buckle down and start preparing for Uni. Read up on my math, get myself mentally prepared to face yet another extremely competitive environment... I sometimes wonder if i can make it. If i can take the stress of reimmersing myself into the deep end.

Then i wonder- What is it all about anyway? I cant imagine how the people at my workplace take it. When they finish their studies, they end up in the same office, working the same job, doing the same things.... week after endless week, month after endless month... I admire their stamina. After 2 months of doing a temps job there, my brain feels numb. I cannot fathom how the perm staff manage.

Im losing the war against flab. I need to lose, lose, lose, what i gained, gained, gained. This is intolerable. I cannot stand what is happening to me. My self control is gone. I used to have no problem exercising alone before army... now it seems like such a chore. Somehow, someway, i need to influence myself. But that can only come from within. Where inside me can i find a reason to do what needs to be done?

I feel like im losing control of my life. There is a point where i clearly knew what i want, what i need, what i must do. Somehow somewhere i need to find that point again. Regain the focus. Reach my personal Nirvana so to say. Personal mastery seems so far away. I had it in my grasp... But it slipped.

I will not doom myself to failure. I have always believed in self-actualization. The mind creates its own paradigms. I will succeed. Because i can. And i will.

You know how sometimes, words cannot express exactly how you feel? That there is no combination of characters that unlock the lexicon of language to unravel the twisting pathways of feeling? Thats right. How do i feel right now? Completely, and absolutely, MOO.

If God is so smart, why do you fart?

I have just read two fantastic books.

The Religion War - Scott Adams
Dude, Where's my Country? - Michael Moore

I wanted to blog more but got sidetracked by reading other people's blogs. DANG.

World Cup Fever?

Can't believe that im actually watching the world cup. Somehow while watching the game, i happened to miss all the crucial moments, either talking to friends, or doing something else. bah. Basically i saw everything except the highlights... =(

Anyway, last day with my aunt's car. RUN AROUND!!!!!

We mourn your passing.

To the memory of Lao Shi, who passed away last friday, the 2nd of June. May you always walk in the grace of God.

I think Ive already lost you
I think youre already gone
I think Im finally scared now
You think Im weak - but I think youre wrong
I think youre already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now Im relaxed - I cant be sure

I think youre so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think Im just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong its a problem Im dealing

If youre gone - maybe its time to go home
Theres an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If youre gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz theres a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet youre hard to get over
I bet the room just wont shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think youre so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think Im just scared - that I know too much
I cant relate and thats a problem Im feeling

If youre gone - maybe its time to go home
Theres an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If youre gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz theres a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think youre so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think Im just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong its a problem Im dealing

If youre gone - maybe its time to go home
Theres an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If youre gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz theres a little bit of something me
In everything in you

"The Lord is my shepherd, i shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for you are here with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me. you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Psalms 23:1-6

Munchkins

Never again will there be a contest so prolonged.
A quest so daunting
A need so strong.

Never shall the five convene
remain at the scene
to battle
test their mettle
An all out war
to abjure and abhor

The struggle to win
to be the ultimate munchkin


Someone should state on the box- not to be played for longer than 1.5 hrs for a single game. I just felt 3 hours of my life go down the drain.

But hey, its fun!

All your money are belong to us.

Nuff said. Oy, owe money pay money ar!