Selected anecdotes

You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When..

You answer the door before people knock.

You speed walk in your sleep.

You sleep with your eyes open.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

Cocaine is a downer.

You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching you.

You've worn the finish off your coffee table.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.

Instant coffee takes too long.

When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You short out motion detectors.

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.

Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.

You can't even remember your second cup.

You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

credits to http://www.koffeekorner.com/toomuchcoffee.htm