Bad analogy

Im busier than a free prostitute.

Have you ever?

To get up and walk away would be too easy.
So stay and stand your ground, just watch your mouth with me.
On the back of every right, there's a wrong looming.
So here you and I should tread as soft as these razor blades for boots will let be.

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes?
Have you ever tried to balance that beam?
And if you ever tried to fit in my shoes,
They'll never be quite as soft as they seemed.

(Thought!)
Unabashed honesty would be ideal,
But a prophet did once say that honesty is a lonely word.
So where do we go from here... Abandon ship now?
My problem is you make me melt and I don't want to be frozen anymore.

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes?
Have you ever tried to balance that beam?
And if you ever tried to fit in my shoes,
They'll never be quite as soft as they seemed.

Have you ever... Have you ever tried to?
I have never... I have never tried to.

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes?
Will you ever try to balance that beam?
And if you ever try to fit in my shoes,
They'll never be quite as soft as they seemed.

Whistleblowing

I'm currently doing a project on whistleblowing, as part of a module on Engineering Professionalism.

And it brings me back, to a time just about two and a half years ago, where i was an accessory to a story, a tragedy, a crime.

It's so easy to pinpoint the right and moral way to do things now.

But when you're a part of it, it seems so hard.

It's been two and a half years.

I know you did what you had to do.

I still don't forgive you.

The Inevitable Tragedy

I was with a close friend recently, and he was recounting to me (and my brother) the circumstances of a death in his family.

It is always rather depressing to hear such a tale. How the once living, once active, once full of life, degenerate into a miasma of pain and suffering, dragging the related into a whirlpool of sorrow.

Im normally not a fan of walker, but for him i took a draft. It was the least i could do to share his pain. It was rare to see him in such a state. But then again, extraneous circumstances were at work here. Memories strike hard, and when you least expect it.

What do you want your last words to your loved ones to be?

Neverwhere

In a rare moment of lucidity, i find myself drawn into a compelling narrative. There is no other way to put it. With a touch of a chapter and verse, i am drawn, willingly compelled, into a world that exists between slices of thin parchment, that spans the length of the universe and the breadth of time. Everywhere, nowhere, and anywhere.

That is the depth of imagination. I always stand in awe of a true storyteller - For he is one that i admire. The ability to draw people into a clear, crystalline world where everything is real and yet not as it seems, where there is no rule of nature's law, and everything exists at his whim and fancy.

We are all creators of our own world. On paper, we are all small gods. For those who transcend this little piece of personal real estate, they find themselves worshiped, a small cult of followers pandering for their newest bible.

Perhaps it is my weakness. The tendency to escapism from the here and now.

Or it is my strength - the suspension of disbelief, the eager stretch of imagination, the boundless world beyond my own perspective.

Life is more than looking through your eyes.

Let's do the math!

For those who don't know, a certain Mas Selamat Kastari, alleged leader of the Jemaah Islamiyah terrorist group has escaped from a detention centre in Singapore.

Factors involved:
1. Number of suspects searched for = (sus)
2. Number of people searching = (cops)
3. Size of search area = (land)

Result value: Time taken =(time) (in days)

Some relations:
1. It is easier to search for a a large group than a small group, as a small group is easier to hide
2. The more people you have searching, the easier it is to search.
3. The larger the area to search, the more time it takes.

therefore, a simple governing equation can be taken as:

time ~~ land*sus/cops
stating all as first order relations,
time = k*land*sus/cops

Using a previous case, the 3 robbers who escaped on Pulau Tekong, we shall ascertain the constant.

Test values:
3 robbers
3 days to catch them
24.43km^2 land area of Pulau Tekong
700 people estimated to be searching

k = 700*3/(3*24.43)
= 28.65

Equation:
time = 28.65*land*sus/cops

For the case of Mas Selamat Kastari, we have:
1 suspect
704km^2 of land
1000 people estimated to be searching

time = 28.65*704.2*1/1000
= 20.18 days

Hrmmm. There we go. 20 days to look for one terrorist, assuming that all the borders prevail, an incorruptible police force, and 100% efficiency in searching. If any definite results are to be expected, many many more people are needed. (Figure may not be accurate as number of people searching for Mas Selamat Kastari is a complete, wild guess)

And all this when i should be doing my work or studying for my two term tests. Well done to me! woohoo

(Note - After being informed by my rather well-informed girlfriend, the number of people searching is actually 3000. Therefore a better guesstimate would be 7 days.)

The Good Samaritan

To Frankie, the guy in the Subaru Forester, probably buddhist, probably Prudential Insurance salesman, who gallantly gave a guy and two girls a lift from the Malaysian side of the causeway at 0130HRS on 22nd February 2008 to the Woodlands Checkpoint, without demanding anything except some pleasant conversation:

I salute you.
You restore my faith in humanity.

Similarities

I just realised im like a Creative Mp3 Player.

Im not as stylish, but i don't look shabby either.

Im easy to use and very friendly to others.

Im easy to understand, and very good to have with you.

I don't need a lot of money to make me happy.

And of course, im firmly rooted in home-grown goodness. ;)

Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart.

Ab-so-fucking-lutely

This world is so bloody depressing.

You can build a house of cards, but with a single mistake in the base and the whole thing comes tumbling down.

Life is a zero-sum game - You can't get something without giving something up in return.

People are different, no matter where they are. Noone is exactly the same. Noone behaves exactly the same as everyone else.

Sometimes people can't get along no matter how much they try.

Sometimes i wish i was born a farmer in an isolated windswept mountain somewhere. Where all i need to do is to till the ground and watch the cows.

Or maybe a monk in a temple somewhere, in the silent pursuit of enlightenment. Stripped of all the cares of the world, free to pursue his goal.

Sometimes i wish i could cut back all the bloody background noise from my life and focus on what matters.

But how do i know what is the background noise?

Can i see your Id?

Moments pass us by all the time.

In a twinkling, between blinks, our life moves on, a grand procession of scenes and places pass our eyes, ebbing slowly from the high definition present, before relegation to the black and white of memory.

My dreams are surreal. Playing what-if's in my mind in waking dreams, as i drive mechanically past the same stretch of expressway. The cars swoop by as pleasant thoughts of justice cross my mind. Vigilante it might be, but justice it still is. Before i snap myself back to reality and the upcoming light, watching warily for unwary drivers keen to cross my path.

As the years pound wearily on my back, i think back on the value of the persona. Who am i, really, and what does it mean to be me. Over time, people change. But what is it that i can truly call myself? What is it that over the years, has been there, has been central to my identity and my life?

Hobbies come and go. So do friends and people that i hang around with. What is the core unifying trait that pulls me together over the years?

Where am i in the depths of my soul?

AVP2 Anti-Advertisement

"No plot, no good action, no love story."

"It sucks."

"Its so bad, its not even worth downloading to watch at home."

"If i was the director, i would change my name and go into the Witness Protection Programme"

"You'd probably get better entertainment by flipping 8.50 worth of coins into the drain"

"Released on December 25, 2007, AVP-R grossed $9.5 million on its opening day for an average of $3,707 per 832 theatres.[9] AVP-R has earned mostly negative reviews from critics with 16% on Rotten Tomatoes, 5 positive to 27 negative with an average of 3.1 out of 10 and a user rating of 58%. The film has grossed $26,880,000 domestically as of December 30, 2007, ranking sixth at the box office." - Wikipedia

Ok, im back.

Now what?

The Problem with Wednesday

Strangely, i always seem to argue with alvy on wednesday. The coincidence always strikes me as absurdly karmic.

I guess im not perfect (duhhhhh). Big whoop. Wanna fight about it?

Its probably just a clubbing issue. Hopefully we get over it.

Oh, the exams are over. Whoopee. Wish i had a job, and something that occupies my time and gives me money. It seems money is in shorter and shorter supply nowadays.

But actually im quite thankful for my free time. As my life goes on, its harder and harder to find time to be relaxed and be by myself. So for those out there who think life is boring, enjoy it. If i recall, there's some ancient chinese curse - "may you live in interesting times".

arrrrrr fuckit. I have no idea what the hell im talking about.

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Well I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head, that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast
Wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert
Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt
It's the one I'm wearin'
And I shaved my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day

I'd smoked my brain the night before
Or I smoked so much the night before
With cigarettes and songs that I've been pickin'
My mouth was like an ashtray I'd been lickin'
But I lit my first and watched a small kid
Cussin' at a can that he was kicking
Then I crossed the empty street
And caught the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken
And it took me back to somethin'
That I'd lost somehow somewhere along the way

On the Sunday morning sidewalks
Wishing Lord that I was stoned
'Cause there is something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there's nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city side walks
Sunday mornin' comin' down

In the park I saw a daddy
With a laughing little girl who he was swingin'
And I stopped beside a Sunday school
And listened to the song that they were singin'
Then I headed back for home and
Somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin'
And it echoed thru the canyon like
The disappearing dreams of yesterday.

On the Sunday morning sidewalks
Wishing Lord that I was stoned
'Cause there is something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there's nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city side walks
Sunday mornin' comin' down.

Bastards.

This really pisses me off. Bunch of motherfuckers.