I learned how to carry on.

D'abord, j'ai eu peur,
Et puis je me suis habituée
Comment pourrais-je vivre encore sans toi à mes cotés ?
Depuis j'ai passé tant de nuits à me dire que t'avais tort à t'en vouloir
Et puis je me suis habituée
Et tu reviens, si sûr de toi
Avec ce regard qui se teint et des mots stupides et tristes
J'aurais dû changer la serrure ou juste reprendre la clé
Si j'avais pu imaginer que tu reviendrais me troubler
sors de ma vie
ne reviens plus
Car désormais tu le sais tu n'est plus le bienvenu
J'ai trop pleuré j'ai envie de vivre aujourd'hui de t'oublier
Et tant que je serai aimée
je survivrai
je survivrai
J'ai tellement sur terre de choses à faire que je préfère te dire
N'essaie pas de m'attendrir
Non n'essaie pas de revenir
je survivrai
je survivrai
Sans toi
Et ne cherche pas à tout prix à te justifier
Ni à recoller les morceaux, tu n'y arriverais pas
Je me suis souvent sentie seule et je suis une autre déjà
J'ai bien changé tu ne me reconnaîtrais pas
je ne suis plus comme autrefois
Je ne suis plus la fille autant amoureuse de toi
Tu crois sans doute qu'un seul soupir suffit pour que tu me reprenne
Mais je garde mon amour aujourd'hui pour celui qui m'aime
Sors de ma vie
ne reviens plus
Car désormais tu le sais tu n'est plus le bienvenu
J'ai trop pleuré j'ai envie de rire aujourd'hui de t'oublier
Et tant que je serai aimée
je survivrai
je survivrai
J'ai tellement sur terre de choses à faire que je préfère te dire
N'essaie pas de m'attendrir
Non n'essaie pas de revenir
je survivrai
I will survive
sors de ma vie
ne reviens plus
Car désormais tu le sais tu n'est plus le bienvenu
J'ai trop pleuré j'ai envie de rire aujourd'hui
de t'oublier
Et tant que je serai aimée
je survivrai
Sans toi

Those were the days...

Casablanca

A new friend of mine told me I should watch Casablanca.

And so I did.

And I was blown away.

There's a certain pace and rhythm to the movies of those times, and it is a calming one. Following the ebb and flow of the plot is simple, and pleasantly relaxing. One thing i'm really taken in by is, as i have previously mentioned before, the gravity of the actor's screen presence, and the way they steal the scenes everytime they step on. Humphrey Bogart plays the jaded owner to cynical perfection, while Ingrid Bergman steals the limelight in soft focus black and white. She looks like she's GLOWING.

Well, maybe not this one. But you get the idea.

Black and white cinema is a style unto itself - Lacking colours, it seems that either the actors are forced into being more in focus. Or is it that with a lack of colour, we, as the viewers are more entranced by the actors than the scenes?

And of course, amazing one-liners and quotable quotes.

"Play it, Sam."

"Here's looking at you kid."

"Of all the gin joints of all the towns in the world she has to walk into mine."

And possibly one of my favourite jazzy songs:

"You must remember this. A kiss is still a kiss. A sigh is just a sigh. The fundamental things apply, as time goes by. And when two lovers woo, they still say "I love you". On that you can rely. No matter what the future brings, as time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs, never out of date. Hearts full of passion, jealousy and hate. Woman needs man, and man must have his mate. That, noone can deny.

It's still the same old story, the fight for love and glory, a case of do or die. The world will always welcome lovers, as time goes by."

Pleasant days and pleasant nights. I'm learning a bit more of myself everytime I open my eyes. Life is moving. :)

Wherever I may roam

And the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I need

And with dust in throat I crave
Only knowledge will I save
To the game you stay a slave

Rove or wanderer
Nomad, vagabond
Call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll redefine anywhere

Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home

(And the earth becomes my throne)

And the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars I've grown
By myself but not alone
I ask no one

And my ties are severed clean
Less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign

Rove or wanderer
Nomad, vagabond
Call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
and I'll never mind anywhere

Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home
YE' YEAH

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind
And I'll take my find anywhere

Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home
I say!

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll redefine anywhere

Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home

Carved upon my stone
My body lies, but still I roam,
Yeah yeah!

Wherever I may roam
Wherever I may roam
Woah

Pretty in Pink

Daddy's flown across the ocean
Leaving just a memory
Snapshot in the family album
Daddy what else did you leave for me?
Daddy, what'd'ja leave behind for me?!?
All in all it was just a brick in the wall.
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.

When we grew up and went to school
There were certain teachers who would
Hurt the children in any way they could

By pouring their derision
Upon anything we did
And exposing every weakness
However carefully hidden by the kids
But in the town, it was well known
When they got home at night, their fat and
Psychopathic wives would thrash them
Within inches of their lives.

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

Tainted Love

Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

(chorus)
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want IT any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you'LL think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

(chorus...)

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love, tainted love (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted love (x2)
Tainted love (x3)

Aftermath

Someone has told me the message wasn't clear.

I will survive.

That's it.

Complicated Heart

Even if you want to go alone
I will be waiting when you're coming home
If you need someone to ease the pain
You can lean on me, my love will still remain

Only the good die young

A hand above the water
An angel reaching for the sky
Is it raining in heaven -
Do you want us to cry?

And everywhere the broken-hearted
On every lonely avenue
No-one could reach them
No-one but you

One by one
Only the good die young
They're only flying too close to the sun
And life goes on -
Without you...

Another tricky situation
A get to drowin' in the blues
And i find myself thinkin'
Well - what would you do?

Yes! - it was such an operation
Forever paying every due
Hell, you made a sensation
You found a way through - and

One by one
Only the good die young
They're only flyin' too close to the sun
We'll remember -
Forever...

And now the party must be over
I guess we'll never understand
The sense of your leaving
Was it the way it was planned?

And so we grace another table
And raise our glasses one more time
There's a face at the window
And i ain't never, never sayin' goodbye...

One by one
Only the good die young
They're only flyin' too close to the sun
Cryin' for nothing
Cryin' for no-one
No-one but you

Don't Be Cruel

You know I can be found,
Sitting home all alone,
If you cant come around,
At least please telephone.
Don't be cruel
To a heart thats true.

Baby, if I made you mad
For something I might have said,
Please, lets forget the past,
The future looks bright ahead,
Don't be cruel to a heart thats true.
I don't want no other love,
Baby its just you I'm thinking of.

Don't stop thinking of me,
Don't make me feel this way,
Come on over here and love me,
You know what I want you to say.
Don't be cruel
To a heart thats true.
Why should we be apart?
I really love you baby, cross my heart.

Lets walk up to the preacher
And let us say I do,
Then you'll know you'll have me,
And Ill know that Ill have you,
Don't be cruel to a heart thats true.
I don't want no other love,
Baby its just you I'm thinking of.

Don't be cruel to a heart thats true.
Don't be cruel to a heart thats true.
I don't want no other love,
Baby its just you I'm thinking of.

Have you ever?

To get up and walk away would be too easy.
So stay and stand your ground, just watch your mouth with me.
On the back of every right, there's a wrong looming.
So here you and I should tread as soft as these razor blades for boots will let be.

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes?
Have you ever tried to balance that beam?
And if you ever tried to fit in my shoes,
They'll never be quite as soft as they seemed.

(Thought!)
Unabashed honesty would be ideal,
But a prophet did once say that honesty is a lonely word.
So where do we go from here... Abandon ship now?
My problem is you make me melt and I don't want to be frozen anymore.

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes?
Have you ever tried to balance that beam?
And if you ever tried to fit in my shoes,
They'll never be quite as soft as they seemed.

Have you ever... Have you ever tried to?
I have never... I have never tried to.

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes?
Will you ever try to balance that beam?
And if you ever try to fit in my shoes,
They'll never be quite as soft as they seemed.

The Problem with Wednesday

Strangely, i always seem to argue with alvy on wednesday. The coincidence always strikes me as absurdly karmic.

I guess im not perfect (duhhhhh). Big whoop. Wanna fight about it?

Its probably just a clubbing issue. Hopefully we get over it.

Oh, the exams are over. Whoopee. Wish i had a job, and something that occupies my time and gives me money. It seems money is in shorter and shorter supply nowadays.

But actually im quite thankful for my free time. As my life goes on, its harder and harder to find time to be relaxed and be by myself. So for those out there who think life is boring, enjoy it. If i recall, there's some ancient chinese curse - "may you live in interesting times".

arrrrrr fuckit. I have no idea what the hell im talking about.

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Well I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head, that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast
Wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert
Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt
It's the one I'm wearin'
And I shaved my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day

I'd smoked my brain the night before
Or I smoked so much the night before
With cigarettes and songs that I've been pickin'
My mouth was like an ashtray I'd been lickin'
But I lit my first and watched a small kid
Cussin' at a can that he was kicking
Then I crossed the empty street
And caught the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken
And it took me back to somethin'
That I'd lost somehow somewhere along the way

On the Sunday morning sidewalks
Wishing Lord that I was stoned
'Cause there is something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there's nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city side walks
Sunday mornin' comin' down

In the park I saw a daddy
With a laughing little girl who he was swingin'
And I stopped beside a Sunday school
And listened to the song that they were singin'
Then I headed back for home and
Somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin'
And it echoed thru the canyon like
The disappearing dreams of yesterday.

On the Sunday morning sidewalks
Wishing Lord that I was stoned
'Cause there is something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there's nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city side walks
Sunday mornin' comin' down.

Stardust

And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky the little stars climb
Always reminding me that were apart
You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a song that will not die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by

Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely nights
Dreaming of a song.
The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you.
When our love was new, and each kiss an inspiration.
But that was long ago, and now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song.
Beside the garden wall, when stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale
Of paradise where roses grew.
Though I dream in vain, in my heart you will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of loves refrain.

Alvy's Song

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you
let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms
let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you
Come let me love you, come love me again

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

Dirges in the Dark

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But february made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ’n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin’,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Now for ten years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

They were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die."

Dire Straits

You get a shiver in the dark
Its been raining in the park but meantime
South of the river you stop and you hold everything
A band is blowing dixie double four time
You feel all right when you hear that music ring

You step inside but you dont see too many faces
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down
Too much competition too many other places
But not too many horns can make that sound
Way on downsouth way on downsouth london town

You check out guitar george he knows all the chords
Mind hes strictly rhythm he doesnt want to make it cry or sing
And an old guitar is all he can afford
When he gets up under the lights to play his thing

And harry doesnt mind if he doesnt make the scene
Hes got a daytime job hes doing alright
He can play honky tonk just like anything
Saving it up for friday night
With the sultans with the sultans of swing

And a crowd of young boys theyre fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles
They dont give a damn about any trumpet playing band
It aint what they call rock and roll
And the sultans played creole

And then the man he steps right up to the microphone
And says at last just as the time bell rings
thank you goodnight now its time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
we are the sultans of swing

Dreams last for so long

I hear the clock, it's six a.m.
I feel so far from where I've been
I got my eggs and my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you.
I break the yolks, make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore' cause
Dreams last for so long
even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you oh so bad 'cause
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
I go about my business, I'm doin fine
Besides what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken, everyday.
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick a book up. Turn the sheets down.
Take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pjs and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon I know you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you

Yeah.... You were meant for me and I was meant for you.

Fear of the Dark - Iron Maiden

I am a man who walks alone
And when Im walking a dark road
At night or strolling through the park

When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when its dark

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someones always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someones allways there

Have you run your fingers down the wall
And have you felt your neck skin crawl
When youre searching for the light?
Sometimes when youre scared to take a look
At the corner of the room
Youve sensed that somethings watching you

Have you ever been alone at night
Thought you heard footsteps behind
And turned around and no ones there?
And as you quicken up your pace
You find it hard to look again
Because youre sure theres someone there

Watching horror films the night before
Debating wiches and folklore
The unkown troubles on your mind
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense and suddenly eyes fix
On dancing shadows from behind

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someones always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someones allways there

When Im walking a dark road
I am a man who walkes alone

Here for you

So you think you've got it all figured out
Well you know you can't make it alone
Everybody needs somebody to help them out
And you know I could be that someone

And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

Chorus:
I am here for you, always here for you
When you need a shoulder to cry on
Someone to rely on, I am here for you

So you think that love is long overdue
Tired of looking for someone to care
Let me tell you now the choice is up to you
But you know I will always be there

I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin' someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you, I am here for you

So now you've got it all figured out
And you know you've found someone that cares
And if you ever need somebody to help you out
Well you know I will always be there

And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

I am here for you, always here for you
When you need a shoulder to cry on
Someone to rely on, I am here for you

I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin' someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you, I am here for you