Halloween supper this wed.... So there goes mambo out of the window. Sigh.
Aaaaanyway......
Monday, October 30, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Ta-daaah......
Missed halloween at zouk, due to a family dinner thing... but hey, i learned how to do layered shots!
Felt like quite a bastard to back out on my friends, but i really should get cracking down to my work...
Next wed...
The last one before exams! make it count!
And after that, no more distractions, just study my arse off...
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Testing testing 1,2,3...
| You Have Low Self Esteem 28% of the Time |
 Generally, you feel pretty darn great about who you are, even when you mess up or fail. Occasionally, a huge setback will make you question yourself, but you pick yourself up quickly. |
| You Are 70% Open |
 You're a pretty open person - and you don't mind sharing the good, bad, and sometimes ugly. And while sometimes you do catch yourself blabbing on, you usually exhibit restraint. You're openness is quite refreshing, and it encourages other people to be open with you! |
| Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating |
 You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things. You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines. You should major in: Marketing Psychology Desgin Cognitive Science Economics Photography |
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Thanksgiving
As i ponder the events of the last few days, i am struck by one thing- That i have been blessed with a group of loyal and dedicated friends that have stuck through good times and bad, over the last 9 years.
Its the 9 year friends i pay tribute to now- We are all not perfect. The circumstances that brought us together might be unremarkable, but it sparked a fellowship that spanned tumultous times, even after breaking into different JCs, units, and Universities.
Reminiscing the past is a luxury that i indulge in too much. There are too many shared memories to recall right now, and anything short of an anthology of short stories would not do the fellowship justice.
Sadly in life, many things are not certain. Life brings its own ups and downs, a veritable rollercoaster ride of joy and sorrow.
But for me, theres always a bastion to return to, a 9 year pillar of friendship thats build on bonds too strong to be broken by word or action, a shelter of warmth and tolerance.
And for this i give thanks. For all the shit we did together and went through. For every bad joke i told, for every strangled chicken cry from jah, every false memory planted by lee, every clubbing story tim tells, every disgusting personal habit tay has, every gay action KH does, every strange story huili tells.
I give thanks.
Its the 9 year friends i pay tribute to now- We are all not perfect. The circumstances that brought us together might be unremarkable, but it sparked a fellowship that spanned tumultous times, even after breaking into different JCs, units, and Universities.
Reminiscing the past is a luxury that i indulge in too much. There are too many shared memories to recall right now, and anything short of an anthology of short stories would not do the fellowship justice.
Sadly in life, many things are not certain. Life brings its own ups and downs, a veritable rollercoaster ride of joy and sorrow.
But for me, theres always a bastion to return to, a 9 year pillar of friendship thats build on bonds too strong to be broken by word or action, a shelter of warmth and tolerance.
And for this i give thanks. For all the shit we did together and went through. For every bad joke i told, for every strangled chicken cry from jah, every false memory planted by lee, every clubbing story tim tells, every disgusting personal habit tay has, every gay action KH does, every strange story huili tells.
I give thanks.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Disturbed.
I just had a bad dream.
I was in some kind of function room, and it was some form of pageant for my hall people. I was watching people come in, dressed to kill, and some fat chick was trying to pick me up.
I mean, WHAT THE HELL?
And some chinese music was playing in the background, to the tune of some classical piece. Da dum dum daaaaaaaaa, da dum dum dummmm, da dum dum dada dada dum dum dummmmmm...
That kind of put my sunday mood off kilter. Note to self- If one has already slept 9 hours that day, more sleep may cause nightmares.
I was in some kind of function room, and it was some form of pageant for my hall people. I was watching people come in, dressed to kill, and some fat chick was trying to pick me up.
I mean, WHAT THE HELL?
And some chinese music was playing in the background, to the tune of some classical piece. Da dum dum daaaaaaaaa, da dum dum dummmm, da dum dum dada dada dum dum dummmmmm...
That kind of put my sunday mood off kilter. Note to self- If one has already slept 9 hours that day, more sleep may cause nightmares.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Musings
I never get a good photo of myself. Does this reflect an inner displeasure with my external appearance?
If there is a god up there, does he want us to spend time worshipping him or to live out our lives to the fullest?
If there is a god up there, does he want us to spend time worshipping him or to live out our lives to the fullest?
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Confusion Says:
Man with hand in pocket, always on the ball.
Never trust an asshole, for he is always full of shit.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you were born upside down.
Man who jump of cliff is jumping to his own conclusion.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
------------------
Be friendly to bacteria, its the only culture some people have!
Never trust an asshole, for he is always full of shit.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you were born upside down.
Man who jump of cliff is jumping to his own conclusion.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
------------------
Be friendly to bacteria, its the only culture some people have!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Randomness.
Had a swim trial earlier. Didnt mean to join, just to swim. Now i cant feel my legs. Ouch. Haven't had a cramp in the water for damn long, now i remember how bad it feels.
TH band performed. Very well! Fantastic, gives me faith in local music again. wahaha. Far better than the other bands that were there tonight.
I wonder, what is the meaning of life?
What is the reason and rationale behind everything you do? The underlying motive behind human reaction and motion.
After certain thought, i believe that the reason for life- Is the quest for happiness. Why do we study? Because we are certain that if we do well we are happy. Or that we are programmed to feel happy when we do well. That brings up the question of free will. Which will be another night, another day. What can i say. Its just the same old brand new you. Aaargh. Back to the point. We do things to make ourselves happy. Would you do anything that does not bring yourself happiness? Maybe i'll go to the gym. While it does not bring me immediate happiness (rather it brings me pain and self inflicted torture), the belief that going regularly to the gym will make me better physically and hence bring me happiness in the long run.
Taking an economic point of view, the best way to lead your life is to maximise your satisfaction (utility) in whatever you do.
Or is it? It pains me to reduce the complexities of a varied and interesting life to such simple equations. We want to be happy. What we do make us happy. So we do things only to make ourselves happy. Is that all there is?
TH band performed. Very well! Fantastic, gives me faith in local music again. wahaha. Far better than the other bands that were there tonight.
I wonder, what is the meaning of life?
What is the reason and rationale behind everything you do? The underlying motive behind human reaction and motion.
After certain thought, i believe that the reason for life- Is the quest for happiness. Why do we study? Because we are certain that if we do well we are happy. Or that we are programmed to feel happy when we do well. That brings up the question of free will. Which will be another night, another day. What can i say. Its just the same old brand new you. Aaargh. Back to the point. We do things to make ourselves happy. Would you do anything that does not bring yourself happiness? Maybe i'll go to the gym. While it does not bring me immediate happiness (rather it brings me pain and self inflicted torture), the belief that going regularly to the gym will make me better physically and hence bring me happiness in the long run.
Taking an economic point of view, the best way to lead your life is to maximise your satisfaction (utility) in whatever you do.
Or is it? It pains me to reduce the complexities of a varied and interesting life to such simple equations. We want to be happy. What we do make us happy. So we do things only to make ourselves happy. Is that all there is?
Friday, October 13, 2006
Night cycling!
Yay, going night cycling later.
Too bad i cant bring the dragonforce CD and blast it as i go. Its really good. FYI, dragonforce is the metal band whose mtv was featured a post ago. Inspirational indeed.
Projects due soon. Time to look at it again.
Well actually the main point was that im going night cycling. Btw thanks Kaiwei for the book. Im this close to returning ur copy and buying one for my own. Its really good.
Resolving my spiritual quandary soon. Time to touch base with my soul.
Too bad i cant bring the dragonforce CD and blast it as i go. Its really good. FYI, dragonforce is the metal band whose mtv was featured a post ago. Inspirational indeed.
Projects due soon. Time to look at it again.
Well actually the main point was that im going night cycling. Btw thanks Kaiwei for the book. Im this close to returning ur copy and buying one for my own. Its really good.
Resolving my spiritual quandary soon. Time to touch base with my soul.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
This was so funny i forgot to laugh.
| This Is My Life, Rated | |
| Life: |  5.9 |
| Mind: | 6.3 |
| Body: | 6.1 |
| Spirit: | 5.9 |
| Friends/Family: |  3 |
| Love: |  0.8 |
| Finance: | 5.8 |
| Take the Rate My Life Quiz | |
Ahahahahahaha.
It all seems so clear now.
Days may be cloudy or sunny...
Nighttime comes and heightens each sensation. The cool wind sweeps across my cheek, as i sit, pondering the days that go bye, so steadily that weeks disappear without a trace.
It seems like i could have been here... well forever. Essentially, i have. The mood has taken over, the sombre melancholy that comes with both acceptance and apathy. The ultima state of entropy, where nothing can be done.
Have i sunk so low?
Motivation seems to slip from my grasp. The resolve of today melts into the conflict of tomorrows emotions. Unable to hold on, grasping at straws, i struggle in the torrent of my life. Knowing that i should save myself from this maelstrom of emotion, i struggle. I yearn to release myself from this torment that strikes at my heart and soul.
But how can i save myself, if i do not even know where safety lies?
I'm lost in a world where nothing seems certain.
I used to be sure of myself.
Now im not so sure.
It seems like i could have been here... well forever. Essentially, i have. The mood has taken over, the sombre melancholy that comes with both acceptance and apathy. The ultima state of entropy, where nothing can be done.
Have i sunk so low?
Motivation seems to slip from my grasp. The resolve of today melts into the conflict of tomorrows emotions. Unable to hold on, grasping at straws, i struggle in the torrent of my life. Knowing that i should save myself from this maelstrom of emotion, i struggle. I yearn to release myself from this torment that strikes at my heart and soul.
But how can i save myself, if i do not even know where safety lies?
I'm lost in a world where nothing seems certain.
I used to be sure of myself.
Now im not so sure.
Friday, October 06, 2006
And the truth dawns......
After the test.
I look at what i have done to prepare. I look at the time i spent to read through the notes, work on problems, question the theories and think through the assumptions. What do i get? I did get a better understanding of the subject. It may not be exam smart, but i feel i learnt it more thoroughly.
No matter how much i study, i will not be able to score 100%. Thats how i see it. There will always be some problem. As reluctant as i am to believe it, there are many, many more intelligent people out there. Yes i said it. As much as i want to believe that i am smart, there are many, many smarter people out there.
And it pisses me off!
Why?
I realise- When i was in primary school, i was near the bottom of a very high calibre class. After that in sec sch and in JC, i was near the top of a middle calibre class. And now in Uni, in Chem Engin especially, where all the "medicine rejects" and smartarses go... apparently history is cyclical. Back to the bottom of the top. Or so called the crap of the cream. Not just the PRCs and other foreign scholars. Chem Engin has gathered the cream of the nations engineers together. And apparently, im on the wrong end of the bell curve here.
So im not so smart i guess.
But im not going to stop at that.
You may be smarter. You may be more hardworking. You may have more time. You may understand better.
For now.
I promise you all this. You all want to keep me on the wrong side of the bell curve? Do try your best. I WILL NOT MAKE IT EASY.
This is my promise to myself. I will say it now. Either second class upper, or first class honours. I want it, i will work for it, and i WILL GET IT. I have come here for a reason. I am in NUS to get my degree. And i'll be damned if i don't do well. Because i always do the best i can in all circumstances. And i'll be damned if my best just cannot cut it.
I will not go quietly into the night.
I look at what i have done to prepare. I look at the time i spent to read through the notes, work on problems, question the theories and think through the assumptions. What do i get? I did get a better understanding of the subject. It may not be exam smart, but i feel i learnt it more thoroughly.
No matter how much i study, i will not be able to score 100%. Thats how i see it. There will always be some problem. As reluctant as i am to believe it, there are many, many more intelligent people out there. Yes i said it. As much as i want to believe that i am smart, there are many, many smarter people out there.
And it pisses me off!
Why?
I realise- When i was in primary school, i was near the bottom of a very high calibre class. After that in sec sch and in JC, i was near the top of a middle calibre class. And now in Uni, in Chem Engin especially, where all the "medicine rejects" and smartarses go... apparently history is cyclical. Back to the bottom of the top. Or so called the crap of the cream. Not just the PRCs and other foreign scholars. Chem Engin has gathered the cream of the nations engineers together. And apparently, im on the wrong end of the bell curve here.
So im not so smart i guess.
But im not going to stop at that.
You may be smarter. You may be more hardworking. You may have more time. You may understand better.
For now.
I promise you all this. You all want to keep me on the wrong side of the bell curve? Do try your best. I WILL NOT MAKE IT EASY.
This is my promise to myself. I will say it now. Either second class upper, or first class honours. I want it, i will work for it, and i WILL GET IT. I have come here for a reason. I am in NUS to get my degree. And i'll be damned if i don't do well. Because i always do the best i can in all circumstances. And i'll be damned if my best just cannot cut it.
I will not go quietly into the night.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Anticipation- Or is it dread?
Ok, second test coming on in half an hour......
This time round, did my groundwork. Went to ask around and see how others have done, studied with a few other people. Feeling a little bit more confident. But we shall see how it goes.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path.
When the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only i will remain.
This time round, did my groundwork. Went to ask around and see how others have done, studied with a few other people. Feeling a little bit more confident. But we shall see how it goes.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path.
When the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only i will remain.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Heart to heart.
I mean seriously, 6 of 12 is not bad.
But for me its HORRIBLE.
I cant remember the last time i did so badly for a test (besides chinese). Frankly its a blow to morale as well as a abrupt reminder that i screwed over my ENTIRE break to study for this damn test. What i can see from this-
Even though i study everyday, im not absorbing.
I need to practice more.
Studying alone is just screwing me over. Time to work with other people like the dirty hor more.
Its not enough to just read. Must SEE what is being taught. So? Practice, practice, practice. Fuck.
I mean, i did tell myself that i don't have to aim for the highest, the 5.1 CAP score... blah blah blah. But frankly, im not satisfied with myself. This is FAR from what i can do.
Pedal to the metal time.
Time to really sit down and look at what are my commitments, and what is important to me...
But for me its HORRIBLE.
I cant remember the last time i did so badly for a test (besides chinese). Frankly its a blow to morale as well as a abrupt reminder that i screwed over my ENTIRE break to study for this damn test. What i can see from this-
Even though i study everyday, im not absorbing.
I need to practice more.
Studying alone is just screwing me over. Time to work with other people like the dirty hor more.
Its not enough to just read. Must SEE what is being taught. So? Practice, practice, practice. Fuck.
I mean, i did tell myself that i don't have to aim for the highest, the 5.1 CAP score... blah blah blah. But frankly, im not satisfied with myself. This is FAR from what i can do.
Pedal to the metal time.
Time to really sit down and look at what are my commitments, and what is important to me...
Revelations
The Maths test answers are out...... Now to see how i did......
(Checking)
I am sooo completely FUCKED.
(Checking)
I am sooo completely FUCKED.
Monday, October 02, 2006
More Photos
Ha`aheo ka ua i nâ pali
Ke nihi a`ela i ka nahele
E hahai (uhai) ana paha i ka liko
Pua `âhihi lehua o uka
Aloha `oe, aloha `oe
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo
One fond embrace,
A ho`i a`e au
Until we meet again
Ke nihi a`ela i ka nahele
E hahai (uhai) ana paha i ka liko
Pua `âhihi lehua o uka
Aloha `oe, aloha `oe
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo
One fond embrace,
A ho`i a`e au
Until we meet again
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