As the years go passing by.

Another year passes. And I look back and wonder. There's been a few mistakes, but good times were had. Recovery, moving on, learning from past mistakes. (Although with certain objections - It seems I don't learn sometimes.) Importantly though, life moves on, a little older, a little wiser. Hearken the wonderful words of Led Zeppelin:

In the days of my youth
I was told what it was to be a man,
Now Ive reached the age
Ive tried to do all those things the best I can.
No matter how I try,
I find my way to do the same old jam.

*good times, bad times,
You know I had my share;
When my woman left home
With a brown eyed man,
Well, I still dont seem to care.

Sixteen: I fell in love
With a girl as sweet as could be,
Only took a couple of days
Till she was rid of me.
She swore that she would be all mine
And love me till the end,
When I whispered in her ear
I lost another friend.

People try to put us d-d-down...

Vividly.

I cannot help but think about this. It has been a week since it has passed, but it remains stained in my mind.

It is a dream, yes I know it. One night as I lay sleeping, I dreamt a dream of you and I, walking together. Friendly, yet hesitant. Talking about everything and nothing, the little bits of the days that passes us by.

And suddenly, all of a moment, you turn and hold my hand, hesitantly. And my heart leaps into my mouth, and I am all agog. The pounding of my heart increases, and I look deeply into your eyes. I see a shy laughter, and a twinkling of a star. And then you lean over and give me a peck on the cheek. A shy peck, but it embarasses you so. And we laugh and carry on gaily as if nothing had happened, and everything had happened, all in a flash of vivid life.

We walk on, secure in the knowledge that we have shared something so ephemeral, so sudden, so beautiful. And i wake up with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. For in that one moment of unconscious awareness, I was happy, I was content, I was overjoyed. I had tasted the fruit of love, albeit in Morpheus's realm, and it was good.

Everyday, we go about the same routines. Everyday, we walk past the same sights and sounds. Everyday we may stroll and pass, sometimes glancing, sometimes engaging in meaningless chatter, sometimes searching, in each other, the meaning of this exchange. Everyday, I walk on, hoping against hope that this day, it would be different.

And someday it might. And for that one chance, I hold on.

Pleasant Sundays

I must say a highlight of every weekend is giving tuition.

It's actually quite fun to teach, especially when you have students like these:

Hint - The one on the right is actually more attentive and hardworking.

And who says there's no such thing as a free lunch?

Awesome lunches. Hah.

Catching the early morning spray

There is something magical about the early mornings.

The feeling that a new dawn is breaking, is showering the world with a golden light of new opportunities and chances.

The feeling of a wall of infinitesimal droplets propelled by a cool morning breeze just cleansing your face, pulling away the sleepy doldrums that inhibit the mind.

The feeling of the spring in your steps, knowing that there is something to look forward to each day.

A new day dawns, and with it comes new experiences and new opportunities.

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast; man never is, but always to be blest."

The end of beatlemania

I think im finally sick of listening to the beatles. Maybe its because i drive too much nowadays. I think i should change the CD in my car. Im listening more to FM 92.4 nowadays. The music really soothes me. On the other hand im really starting to appreciate Iron Maiden, Dire Straits and Pink Floyd. I think "The Wall" is a masterpiece of rock opera. Maiden ropes in fantastic segues. Knopfler does an amazing duet with his voice and guitar. "blowing dixie double blue time." And Pink Floyd, well. Thats just another brick in the wall. Three of them. Does this post seem disorganised? I think so. But what do i care? We had a goodbye sendoff for the Jah earlier. It was more of a gathering of the fellowship. Really had a good time. Kenny's cooking, is once again, fantastic. The home-made lasagna was the bomb man. Although the layers were a little too thick. But pleasant nonetheless. Followed by shepherds pie, meatballs, brinjal with cheese, and the slightly too watery beef stew. The food is not exactly world class, but it was fantastic - what can i say? Made with Love. As usual with the guys we had some pre/post dinner entertainment. Here we're mauling bryan in my room.
And here we see the evolution of our dear kenny from the normal schoolboy to the monkey fish frog thingy to the current version.
I finally saw the hundred men clip. And as usual bryan became our punching bag. Keong nearly keonged out again. Tay was nearly wasted. My bro was in good form as he dished out the sexes on the beach, by far the most popular drink served tonight. The aroma of the alcohol recalled me to 0430 to 0630 yesterday morning, where i had the unparalleled experience of accompanying a drunk girlfriend. Really interesting. Its really funny to see drunk people sometimes. Although this time it hurt a bit. Reminded me of scenes from science fiction films like alien. Very involved night i had, last night. Right pissed off i was at some people. Names not to be included. Lets not go onto that before i get really pissed off. Anyway, went to JB to buy some short pants, really satisfied. Im wearing one of them now, fits like a glove. A butt glove so to speak. Its hard to find pants that fit an ass like me/mine. Anyway alvy came along and we had a great time. This is a picture i took when we were in City Square.Its really nice to see her happy. I started studying exactly 25 hours ago. Its a little late but well, better late then never. The feeling of impending doom has not lifted, but i swear to god im going to mitigate it as well as i can. Its not my nature to not struggle for dying causes. "I am pierre the fighter pilot! If i go down, i go down in flames!" Anyway the randomity of this post is caused by randomitis and a 3.30 cup of coffee long black at east coast mac while waiting for my dear to finish a meeting. I would hit my books later but i don't believe that violence is the answer. Anyway i was chatting with tien earlier today, and i decided i would crucify one of my lecturers. She's horrible, to say the least. Excerpts from the conversation that may go into survey: "we stand a higher chance of learning something from a brick than from your lectures". " you and your TA should swap because your TA teaches better than you do." "Your notes are like your lectures, random and disorganised." "I bet you had to offer your old, dry p**** to the dean to get your job." " by screwing the dean, you just screwed one entire batch." "The only thing that i learned from the lecture is that you cant teach for nuts." "How did you become a lecturer if the only thing you know how to do is read off slides?" Im wondering which i should put. Or maybe they're not sarcastic enough? Comments please. Man i love bluetooth.

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-970601sunscreen,0,4664776.column

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

General Unified Theory of Life

If you live to 100 (and thats a long shot)
you will have 100*365*24*60 = 52 million minutes.
You spend half of this doing mechanical functions (sleep, shower, shit, etc)
26 million minutes.

There are 6000 million people in the world. (and rising)
Of these 6000 million, lets say you get to meet 1 million of them in your lifetime.
Taking the 80/20 principle, you will spend 80% of your time with 20% of these people.
Out of these 20%, 20% (4% compounded) will take up 80% of your most valuable time.
Thats 40000 people.
Out of these 40000, you have your immediate family and good friends. Thats about 20, give and take. Extended family and friends included, maybe 100 total. Or even 200.

26 million minutes spent over 40000 people = 650 minutes a person = 11 hours a person

26 million minutes spent over 200 people = 325000 minutes per important person = 225 days per person.

We spend way too much time thinking of inconsequential things and irrelevant people. Time is a resource that is irreplaceable.

The point of this somewhat disorganised post is that i should spend less time worrying about people who do not matter.bah.