Ok, im back.

Now what?

The Problem with Wednesday

Strangely, i always seem to argue with alvy on wednesday. The coincidence always strikes me as absurdly karmic.

I guess im not perfect (duhhhhh). Big whoop. Wanna fight about it?

Its probably just a clubbing issue. Hopefully we get over it.

Oh, the exams are over. Whoopee. Wish i had a job, and something that occupies my time and gives me money. It seems money is in shorter and shorter supply nowadays.

But actually im quite thankful for my free time. As my life goes on, its harder and harder to find time to be relaxed and be by myself. So for those out there who think life is boring, enjoy it. If i recall, there's some ancient chinese curse - "may you live in interesting times".

arrrrrr fuckit. I have no idea what the hell im talking about.

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Well I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head, that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast
Wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert
Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt
It's the one I'm wearin'
And I shaved my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day

I'd smoked my brain the night before
Or I smoked so much the night before
With cigarettes and songs that I've been pickin'
My mouth was like an ashtray I'd been lickin'
But I lit my first and watched a small kid
Cussin' at a can that he was kicking
Then I crossed the empty street
And caught the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken
And it took me back to somethin'
That I'd lost somehow somewhere along the way

On the Sunday morning sidewalks
Wishing Lord that I was stoned
'Cause there is something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there's nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city side walks
Sunday mornin' comin' down

In the park I saw a daddy
With a laughing little girl who he was swingin'
And I stopped beside a Sunday school
And listened to the song that they were singin'
Then I headed back for home and
Somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin'
And it echoed thru the canyon like
The disappearing dreams of yesterday.

On the Sunday morning sidewalks
Wishing Lord that I was stoned
'Cause there is something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there's nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city side walks
Sunday mornin' comin' down.

Bastards.

This really pisses me off. Bunch of motherfuckers.

Stardust

And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky the little stars climb
Always reminding me that were apart
You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a song that will not die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by

Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely nights
Dreaming of a song.
The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you.
When our love was new, and each kiss an inspiration.
But that was long ago, and now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song.
Beside the garden wall, when stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale
Of paradise where roses grew.
Though I dream in vain, in my heart you will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of loves refrain.

Over the rainbow

A song so beautiful it makes me want to cry whenever i hear it.

Good Grief

You know whats the definition of insanity?

Its doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

Its not like the underlying conditions have changed.

You dare call people stupid? Then what are you doing? Did you really think that you are that intelligent? After doing something that causes you so much trouble and pain over and over again?

You're not going to learn until you hurt yourself.

Which is the biggest pity, because before you do hurt yourself, you will hurt many many more people first.

Gah.

Headache

The lady H walks through my mind
Unsettling the dust of thoughts below
With a twirl of her head
the snowglobe of my awareness spins
sending snowflakes of memory flying fro
each a dagger piercing the glass
that disturbs the integrity of the sphere

Stalking the halls of thought
The lady H leaves no corner unsought
persisting in pain
spreading uneasiness as
emptiness blooms in her wake.

Atlas Shrugged

The weight of schoolwork bears down on me.

6 fast paced weeks of lectures and tutorials.

And 4 mid terms after this one week break.

Feels like shit already.

And The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion is screwing up my life.

Can anyone lend me some discipline? Or at least something to chain me to my table?

Upgrade!

Welcome to http://www.lukeliu.com

Posting and updates shall resume shortly, as soon as i get done with fricking thermodynamics.

Productive Morning!

Movement:
Eagle
Bauer


Slides:
Hockey Slide
Back powerslide
Front powerslide
Acid Slide
Soul Slide

Slalom:
Front Cross
Back Cross
Grapevine
Crazy

someone give me rubber legs.

Reminiscence

Hello to all the OCS 55/04 Delta people reading this blog:

i recently ran across LTA Tiger, and requested that he upload the Lancer pics. Here's it now:

http://picasaweb.google.com/dwgi32/LancerForDeltaWing

enjoy.

=)

From Third World to First

I wonder how it feels like to be LKY.

Celebrating year after year of National Day.

While the people who made it happen one by one slowly fall along the way.

Consigned to a fate of dust.

Watching political opponents, friends move on.

While you have the responsibility to oversee and guide.

A paper battery!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6945732.stm

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Passing

Condolences to the family of 1SG Siti. She might not have been a very important part of my unit life, but she was a part nonetheless.

Life moves on.

Do not go gentle into that good night (A Villanelle)

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

Alvy's Song

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you
let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms
let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you
Come let me love you, come love me again

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

Yet another personality test

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

from
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

courtesy of jack jack and kw.

How true it is? I don't really see anything i don't know already. Do i really know myself that well? Probably. I mean, im the person thats spent the most time with me. =)

Dirges in the Dark

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But february made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ’n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin’,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Now for ten years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

They were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die."

Insomnia Sucks

And i hate this special brand of insomnia where you hover just between tiredness and complete awareness of your surroundings. Where you're yawning and are completely awake at the same time. Grrrrrr. I just heard the newspaper guy throw in the morning papers. Maybe later i shall do my ex-GP teacher proud and go read the latest headlines. Trouble in Iraq. Singaporeans complaining. US throwing its weight around again. Some Hollywood star did something stupid and people are laughing or complaining about it. Doesn't take a genius to figure out the news nowadays.

I think my current awareness stems from the accidental consumption of a overly potent brew of coffee. All coffee lovers beware - the Starbucks Java Chip Frappucino is a KILLER. Its the equivalent of Kopi-Choc-GAO, peng. Whoah. Guaranteed instant awareness. How good is it? I took half a venti frap at 2pm this afternoon. 5am today? woah, guess which bastard's still awake... Like i said, beware. It doesnt help that i've starved myself of coffee recently, to lower my immunity. I think its the lowered immunity that contributed to the current state of hyper-awareness.

Or maybe the weather isn't quite fantastic. Its either pouring or fricking burning. I've got so much phlegm i feel like i could do the exorcist thing. Maybe i could be the next spiderman villian, phlegman! My superpower? I give people TB. Hrmm. Maybe i already have that superpower. My cough, which some of you know, has been with me for 3 months, is guess what? STILL HERE. Spooky ain't it.

Doesn't help that I have a black knight sitting outside my door, just raving to go. I swear, its a beauty. I hope i learn to treasure these little things in life. I have a fear that someday i'll just wake up and take my life for granted, and turn out to be one of those snotty little brats that i absolutely hate. At least i try to keep good friends. If friends are a reflection of your personality, maybe by choosing the right friends you can choose your personality? Fallacitical logic, but rational in a certain light. Much like how in club lighting all girls look pretty.(-ier)

Maybe sleep tonight will not be an option for me. Its barely a few hours more before daybreak anyway. I should try to catch sunrise, god knows how long it has been since i've seen that.

Isn't it amazing how so many ideas can come to you in the shower, but the moment you step out they leave the vicinity of your mind?

Sometimes i scare myself. The more of my objectives i fulfill, the less i feel motivated to move ahead and go for more. Fulfillment breeds complacency and builds inertia. I'm definitely not the same person i was 4 years ago. And that frightens me. How far will i let myself slide down the path of self-doubt and the vicious cycle of negativity. I'm told im a darker person on the blog than i am in real life. Maybe this is the voice of my insecurities.

Daily Fortune - "Insecurity is your biggest hurdle"

How true.

Is it such a useless thing to keep your pride?

Of dolls and faces

X: "Dolls are loved for their faces only. Do you buy dolls for what's inside? What's inside is cheap cotton that has no value."
Y: "Perhaps it is cheap cotton, but aren't all dolls made out of cheap cotton? The doll can never be a doll without the cotton within. It is the cotton that gives the doll shape and life. It is the cotton that fleshes out the doll. It is easy to treasure a face, and far harder to treasure the cotton within."
X: ":) ok justified."

Had a good time in genting/KL!
Results were shocking though.

Love Song for an Ocean

I wish i could be born with gills
to stay under your waves forever
The cool rush of the current
the silent hiss of the regulators
The eternal silence that echoes through the reefs
The gentle weightlessness of floating

You hold me gently to your womb
guiding me past the dangers and beauty
(for in beauty lies danger)
(and in danger lies beauty)
Floating in an endless void
(nothing is endless)
(aquae aeturnium)

You show me the wonders
The natural partnerships
the harmony of life
That living creatures big and small
live peacefully
under the waves pelagic.
Shimmering turqoise, Glowing greens, brillian blues

The stings of the anemone lay beneath me
shepherded jealously by the numerous nemos
The walls of staghorns expand as far as the eye can see
pierced by brains here and there
in the midst lie little urchins
(please sir may i have some food?)
Their deep blue eyes staring at me
Their long deadly nails waving in the current
piercing unwary visitors such as i.

A happy life it would be
to stay under your waves forever.
Alas i was not born with gills
and i await our next reunion.

Events

Just came back from Phantom of the Opera. Fantastic show. Its nice once in a while to catch a musical, really something out of the ordinary. The sets were fantastic, the music thunderous, the action well paced. Individual actors did well, but there were certain problems with sound balance and enunciation. I never realised how hard it is to hear sopranos sing till now.

And to my dear Alvy that came all the way to Esplanade after her meeting to find me, thank you so much darling. I'm going to miss you so much over the next 3 days in Tioman. I'll take care of myself for you so that i'll come back safe and sound ok?

28 Dollars Later

Good day today!
Drunk list -
Zombie
Midori Splice
Sex on the Beach
Stella Artois
Passion Martini
Morning Dew
Gin and Sin
and a few sips of a Blue Motorcycle

The world is spinning and feels light, like a feather weighing a tonne bowling ball revolving around an axle, falling ever slowly into a downward spin.

Watched 28 Weeks Later with the guys. 28 dollars later, we realised that they copied several scenes from 28 days later. Not a bad movie. We went on to watch Priceless. Audrey Tatou in that movie *IS* priceless. More of a fashion parade for her than anything else. If anything its a how-not-to find a girl. But interesting nonetheless. I downed the 7 sins over the course of the first 2 hours of the movie. The Blue Motorcycle is still sitting downstairs, chugging its evil horn, tempting me to bouts of vomiting and the agonies of a drastic hangover. But i shall resist. My dear is clubbing without me today. Lets hope that guys (in general, who we all know are bastards) will not act like bastards and actually leave her in peace for once. Failing that it's gonna be a 4am call to give her a lift from zouk again. (hopefully not dead drunk). Do i have such faith in common man? No. I say again? No. People are assholes. Im staying dry for now in the event that i need to be the midnight chaueffeur for my darling later. She's all sweet and a little naive. Hopefully she learns after a while. I think im not going to be able to sleep again. Sigh. This ALWAYS affects me more than i should let it. Not that i don't trust her. I just don't trust humanity in general. Call it the cynical side of being alive for too long.

Whatever. Im drunk like a skunk and i should be fed straight to bed. Even my rhymes are out of time and my sound can't be found. Let's see if my overactive and paranoid imagination lets me rest peacefully tonight.
-Edit-
I think im worrying too much. Goodnight all.

And so the Buddha said:

The body is like a lump of foam.
Feelings are like bubbles.
Perceptions are like a mirage.
Mental formations like a plaintain trunk,
and consciousness like a magic trick.

Stage 2

The honeymoon is over
the times of professed love is done
The eternal clingyness
The silent stares of adoration
The constant reassurance
Is gone.

But the love still remains.

Persevere

There's a light at the end of the tunnel
There's a light at the end of the tunnel
the tunnel might
be blacker than night
But at the end of the tunnel there's a light!

Woah, Led Zeppelin is fantastic.
Im sitting here waiting for dear to wake up, to go out with her.
I've been reading through my earlier entries - Its rather interesting. =)

I got a strange feeling my world is going to be turned upside down sometime soon. Im praying for it not to happen. But if it does was it meant to be in the first place? Were the obstacles too great to surmount? Was it flawed from conception?
This post is truly a melancholic musing.
And it frightens me that i could care so much.

If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Is there pride in a job well done, in working your guts out for an objective, in doing the best that you can do, in all that you do?

I hope so.

Dire Straits

You get a shiver in the dark
Its been raining in the park but meantime
South of the river you stop and you hold everything
A band is blowing dixie double four time
You feel all right when you hear that music ring

You step inside but you dont see too many faces
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down
Too much competition too many other places
But not too many horns can make that sound
Way on downsouth way on downsouth london town

You check out guitar george he knows all the chords
Mind hes strictly rhythm he doesnt want to make it cry or sing
And an old guitar is all he can afford
When he gets up under the lights to play his thing

And harry doesnt mind if he doesnt make the scene
Hes got a daytime job hes doing alright
He can play honky tonk just like anything
Saving it up for friday night
With the sultans with the sultans of swing

And a crowd of young boys theyre fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles
They dont give a damn about any trumpet playing band
It aint what they call rock and roll
And the sultans played creole

And then the man he steps right up to the microphone
And says at last just as the time bell rings
thank you goodnight now its time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
we are the sultans of swing

575

Strong wind blows stray leaf
Flitter over stormy seas
Through the summer rain

Leaf tremble, branch breaks
Leaf falls and caught by warm grasp
Held in close embrace.

Time passes time moves
Leaf grows in spirit and soul
Leaf by water healed.

Water by nature
Does not provide as much food
as does a leaf branch.

Just a smartass with
mom's car, NUS degree and
a bright future. fuck.

The end of it all

My paper finished today with somewhat of an unsatisfactory bang.
Its the end of the semester as i know it.
I should be happy.
But im not quite as happy as i should be.
I bought my guitar today.
I should be happy.
But im not quite as happy as i should be.
I had dinner with alvy today.
I should be happy.
But im not quite as happy as i should be.
Somethings wrong somewhere.
I should think about it.
Maybe it takes time for reality to sink in.

Dreams last for so long

I hear the clock, it's six a.m.
I feel so far from where I've been
I got my eggs and my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you.
I break the yolks, make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore' cause
Dreams last for so long
even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you oh so bad 'cause
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
I go about my business, I'm doin fine
Besides what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken, everyday.
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick a book up. Turn the sheets down.
Take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pjs and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon I know you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you

Yeah.... You were meant for me and I was meant for you.

The Evil That Men Do

"The good that men do is oft interred with their bones.
but the evil that men do lives on."
Bruce Dickinson, 2001, Rock in Rio

How Bill Gates can save your third world country

This sparked off my mind earlier today.

Bill Gates has a net worth of 56 billion dollars.
He earns $1 million US a month.

refer to the OLPC project
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Laptop_per_Child
To develop a laptop that costs $100 to be sold to third world countries to allow children to use laptops in learning.

Given that Bill Gates can donate 1 billion dollars (less than 2% of his net worth)
he can produce 100 million laptops to be distributed to people in third world countries.
Whats wrong with this picture?

The Rhythm of the Falling rain

Echoes a steady drumbeat on the cold hard floor below
Brings to mind the pounding of hearts
approaching the final battle
between mind and paper
never ceasing
ever fighting
till the curtain calls.
A curtain of absolution
washing away sins and thoughts
cleansing the mind and body of evil
sweeping away the horrors that lie within
I enjoy the humid warmth that is the smell of rain
for when the world is troubled outside
its easier to see the calmness in one's soul.
Thunder rocks the skies and lightning splits asunder
The clear parchment of a grey day
Misty drops obscure
details in the distance
a chill wind blows
and all that is important
is here and now
Where past meets future
we are present.
Whats done is done
Whats coming is not cast in stone
No power we have over our lives
But the daily motion
a drop in the ocean
not to sound sappy
but why don't we just be happy?

Fear of the Dark - Iron Maiden

I am a man who walks alone
And when Im walking a dark road
At night or strolling through the park

When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when its dark

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someones always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someones allways there

Have you run your fingers down the wall
And have you felt your neck skin crawl
When youre searching for the light?
Sometimes when youre scared to take a look
At the corner of the room
Youve sensed that somethings watching you

Have you ever been alone at night
Thought you heard footsteps behind
And turned around and no ones there?
And as you quicken up your pace
You find it hard to look again
Because youre sure theres someone there

Watching horror films the night before
Debating wiches and folklore
The unkown troubles on your mind
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense and suddenly eyes fix
On dancing shadows from behind

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someones always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someones allways there

When Im walking a dark road
I am a man who walkes alone

Weapon of Choice

My ideal choice - JEM7VWH, Steve Vai's signature model, from ibanez. $4000 odd.
The alternative - Schecter Omen 6 Extreme FR. Price unlisted. Quality not tested.
The budget choice - Ibanez RG370DX. "The affordable rocker's weapon"
Ooh after exams you're gonna be mine.....

The end of beatlemania

I think im finally sick of listening to the beatles. Maybe its because i drive too much nowadays. I think i should change the CD in my car. Im listening more to FM 92.4 nowadays. The music really soothes me. On the other hand im really starting to appreciate Iron Maiden, Dire Straits and Pink Floyd. I think "The Wall" is a masterpiece of rock opera. Maiden ropes in fantastic segues. Knopfler does an amazing duet with his voice and guitar. "blowing dixie double blue time." And Pink Floyd, well. Thats just another brick in the wall. Three of them. Does this post seem disorganised? I think so. But what do i care? We had a goodbye sendoff for the Jah earlier. It was more of a gathering of the fellowship. Really had a good time. Kenny's cooking, is once again, fantastic. The home-made lasagna was the bomb man. Although the layers were a little too thick. But pleasant nonetheless. Followed by shepherds pie, meatballs, brinjal with cheese, and the slightly too watery beef stew. The food is not exactly world class, but it was fantastic - what can i say? Made with Love. As usual with the guys we had some pre/post dinner entertainment. Here we're mauling bryan in my room.
And here we see the evolution of our dear kenny from the normal schoolboy to the monkey fish frog thingy to the current version.
I finally saw the hundred men clip. And as usual bryan became our punching bag. Keong nearly keonged out again. Tay was nearly wasted. My bro was in good form as he dished out the sexes on the beach, by far the most popular drink served tonight. The aroma of the alcohol recalled me to 0430 to 0630 yesterday morning, where i had the unparalleled experience of accompanying a drunk girlfriend. Really interesting. Its really funny to see drunk people sometimes. Although this time it hurt a bit. Reminded me of scenes from science fiction films like alien. Very involved night i had, last night. Right pissed off i was at some people. Names not to be included. Lets not go onto that before i get really pissed off. Anyway, went to JB to buy some short pants, really satisfied. Im wearing one of them now, fits like a glove. A butt glove so to speak. Its hard to find pants that fit an ass like me/mine. Anyway alvy came along and we had a great time. This is a picture i took when we were in City Square.Its really nice to see her happy. I started studying exactly 25 hours ago. Its a little late but well, better late then never. The feeling of impending doom has not lifted, but i swear to god im going to mitigate it as well as i can. Its not my nature to not struggle for dying causes. "I am pierre the fighter pilot! If i go down, i go down in flames!" Anyway the randomity of this post is caused by randomitis and a 3.30 cup of coffee long black at east coast mac while waiting for my dear to finish a meeting. I would hit my books later but i don't believe that violence is the answer. Anyway i was chatting with tien earlier today, and i decided i would crucify one of my lecturers. She's horrible, to say the least. Excerpts from the conversation that may go into survey: "we stand a higher chance of learning something from a brick than from your lectures". " you and your TA should swap because your TA teaches better than you do." "Your notes are like your lectures, random and disorganised." "I bet you had to offer your old, dry p**** to the dean to get your job." " by screwing the dean, you just screwed one entire batch." "The only thing that i learned from the lecture is that you cant teach for nuts." "How did you become a lecturer if the only thing you know how to do is read off slides?" Im wondering which i should put. Or maybe they're not sarcastic enough? Comments please. Man i love bluetooth.

Mastercard

Day in Malaysia - $150
Full tank of petrol - $90.92
Studying all night and worrying about girlfriend - 4 hours.
Time spent helping girlfriend vomit - 2 hours.
Knowing that girlfriend is safe and sound - priceless.

For many things in this life, we need time and money. For everything else, there's

Love.

Seven minutes.

Its eleven thirty and a thousand red lights lead out of the city.
And i remember the day well spent.
The food we ate
The fun we had
The things we saw.

Its eleven thirty one and a thousand red lights lead out of the city.
And i remember the little things
the held hands
the warmth of your skin
the smile on your face.

Its eleven thirty two and a thousand red lights lead out of the city
And i remember after dinner
the pack in your bag
the stick between your fingers
the smoke on your breath.

Its eleven thirty three and a thousand red lights lead out of the city
And i remember the pain
the sorrow of each puff
the tear of the heart
the sigh at the stick.


Its eleven thirty four and a thousand red lights lead out of the city
And i remember how
You wanted to take control
To redeem your soul
To start anew.

Its eleven thirty five and a thousand red lights lead out of the city
And i wish
That i could give more than just verbal support
That i could spend every minute of my time with you
That i can help you more on the road to renewal.

Its eleven thirty six and a thousand red lights lead out of the city
And i wonder
If all drivers feel the way i do
If classical music calms the soul
If you know how i feel.

Words

They're really funny things.
How some can just slip out and spoil
the ending of a fantastic day.
How when one person says them
it means one thing.
How when somebody else says them it means something else.
How what one person says
may not be what the other hears.
Will there ever be a way
For us to communicate without words?
but still get the meaning across?
Infallible words are not.
Infallible i am not.

Here for you

So you think you've got it all figured out
Well you know you can't make it alone
Everybody needs somebody to help them out
And you know I could be that someone

And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

Chorus:
I am here for you, always here for you
When you need a shoulder to cry on
Someone to rely on, I am here for you

So you think that love is long overdue
Tired of looking for someone to care
Let me tell you now the choice is up to you
But you know I will always be there

I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin' someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you, I am here for you

So now you've got it all figured out
And you know you've found someone that cares
And if you ever need somebody to help you out
Well you know I will always be there

And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

I am here for you, always here for you
When you need a shoulder to cry on
Someone to rely on, I am here for you

I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin' someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you, I am here for you

Resolution

You know what? I shouldn't worry so much.

There is a time and place for everything. Whats there to worry about? God gives, God takes. Do what you can, let God deal with the rest. Whichever god that might be. Im not speaking to a strictly christian monotheistic belief here.

I dont wanna lose you,
I dont wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And I dont wanna hate you
I dont wanna take you
But I dont wanna be the one to cry
That dont really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust
Theres a reason why people dont stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just aint enough

Now I could never change you
I dont wanna blame you
Baby you dont have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking somethings gonna change

But theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust
Theres a reason why people dont stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just aint enough

And theres no way home
When its late at night and youre all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay

And theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart they cant touch.
Theres a reason why people dont stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just aint enough.
Baby sometimes love just aint enough.

If I don't wear a seat belt and am hurt in an accident, it does not affect anyone else. If I choose not to be belted up, am I not merely exercising a personal right?

Seat belt use is more than just a personal right. From time to time we have rear seat passengers dying or getting seriously injured because they had not used their seat belts. This is a cause for concern. Motorists should cultivate the good habit of belting up in the interest of safe motoring. We must also realize that for every unnecessary injury or fatality resulting from a collision, there are economic costs to society. This include medical costs and subsidies as well as the loss of contribution to the economy by the economically active. Besides, an unbelted person might cause injury to belted passengers in the same car by knocking into them.

Retrieved from SPF website, 30/03/07
http://driving-in-singapore.spf.gov.sg/services/Driving_in_Singapore/Faq/seatbeltfaq.htm#personal

Things that make me happy

I love the rain, the rain
the falling patter of drums
the slash of joy across my face
The rain tells me
i have many many miles to go before i rest
and many many miles to go before i rest.

I love the pain, the pain
the ache of muscles cross my thighs
the pull of tendons across the arms
The pain tells me
i have many many miles to go before i rest
and many many miles to go before i rest.

i love the heart, the heart
the strings that pull whenever you're in pain
the urge to hold and keep you safe
The heart tells me
i have many many miles to go before i rest
and many many miles to go before i rest.

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-970601sunscreen,0,4664776.column

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

If, one day, you step into heaven
Ascending, perhaps, to happiness.
Knowing that you have left the suffering behind
the pain and troubles behind
Would you, in any circumstance
Choose to step out?

Personality time!

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

Kal et Krab

Horseshoe crabs - King of Crabs?

"The blood of horseshoe crabs is blue, which is a result of its high content in copper-based hemocyanin instead of the iron-based hemoglobin found, for example, in humans."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_shoe_crab

Is that why they are considered the king of crabs?

The ironic thing being that they aren't crabs at all.

You can have great conversations with taxi drivers too

I swear, talking to taxi drivers have been some of the most engaged and interesting conversations in my life. Its really easy.
1. Ask taxi driver how's life.
2. Hear him go on about some topic or other.
3. Give comments on topic.
4. Begin heated conversation.
Repeat steps 2-4.

Last 2 taxi conversations -

Singapore education system and why LKY is screwing it up/ making it better.

The joys of retirement and why becoming a taxi driver instead staying at home and staring at your wife for 24 hours is a good idea.

You can have one too! If you have had any interesting conversation with taxi drivers, do let me know! im interested in what you have talked about.

Off-topic:
How many euphemisms can you make for shitting?
1. Going to check out toilet fiction.
2. Going number 2.
3. Taking a dump.
4. Adding to the lump collection.
5. Dropping an S-bomb.
6. Firing off a couple of rounds.
7. Unloading the goods.
8. Relieving stress in the lower intestine.
9. Exercising the stomach muscles.
10. Reigning on the porcelain throne.

Psychic Feedback

I think i just experienced some kind of psychic feedback.
I changed my msn tagline to:
"you cant make much money if you don't make sense."
and it suddenly shutdown on me.

I think its the combined power of 10 or more people looking at my tagline and groaning.

Imagine one day, the human race became telepathic and our minds operate like a organic MSN system.

I think i could shut down a few people like that.

Hrmmm. With great power comes great responsibility.

I think it would be fun to play around.

Random Thoughts

One day i had a dream.

I dreamt i was a butterfly.

I was flitting through life, going from flower to flower, taking what i needed, moving, existing, living. It was blissful. It was peaceful. Without a care in the world.

One day i alit onto a most stunning flower. It was bright like a rainbow, with all the iridiscent hues that attract butterflies like me. Its nectar hung invitingly, a golden droplet of pure ecstacy, balanced upon a tip of a stem, balanced precariously, inviting attention and attraction. "Drink of me," it seemed to whisper. "Take me," invited the ambrosial droplet tenderly.

As i was about to lean in and partake of that sweet liquid, i heard a voice.

"If you choose to take of this, you will learn more than you would wish to know. What you will learn, once you know it, may hurt you. It may cause you suffering beyond anything you have ever felt. At the same time, it will give you possibly the most happiness that you will ever experience, beyond the simple life of a butterfly."

I hesitated a moment, taking the words of the disembodied voice into account. Deciding,i leaned forward and drank it.

Then i woke up.

"Laplace let it be known widely that he considered himself the best mathematician in France. The effect on his colleagues would have been only mildly eased by the fact that Laplace was very likely right."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierre-Simon_Laplace

w00t.

New Bag!

Yay. For a good job on my IT1005 mid terms. Relatively speaking. Anyhow, time to motivate myself to do more work. Pressure forward!

The littlest mango

Once upon a time, there was a mango tree.

It had many little mangoes. Green ones, yellow ones, small ones, big ones. Mangoes of all shapes and sizes.

These mangoes had been together for a very long time. They were all friends with each other, happy and contented.

Except for one. One day, there came a mango so small, so tiny, that the others marveled that he was able to seed at all. They watched, amazed at his growth, and how he survived the passing of the years.

But he was still small, and the others always made fun of him for that.

Lets call him Little.

One day, the mangoes were disturbing Little. They did not want him around. They wanted him to go, to stop being such a disgrace to the mango population.

So they decided to shake and shake themselves, until the poor Little could not hang onto the branch no longer, and fell, plunging to the earth.

It was a long fall, and Little had a long time to plan his revenge.

When Little struck the ground, he landed in soft mud. He heard a rustling sound around him. "oh no," he thought. "Someone's gonna eat me..."

A man came into the clearing. He looked at Little, lying there on the floor.

"Hey, that looks like a mango."

The man picked him up.

"Hey, that SMELLS like a mango."

Then he looked at Little in a funny way.

"Nah, its too small to be a mango. Its probably not worth the effort eating."

Little was overjoyed. "Look above," he whispered. "Look at all the big, pretty looking mangoes in the tree. Don't you want some of those? Don't you want to sink your teeth into that bright yellow succulent flesh?"

"Mmmmm." The man thought. "Tasty tasty mangoes."

The man looked up, at the rich, full fruits hanging up on the tree. "Go on," said the littlest mango. "Go and take your fill. Its just here, right here just for you..."

When the man reached the crown of the mango tree, all the mangos were suprised. "What is this man doing here?" They thought. Their innocent thoughts soon changed however.

The man reached for the largest, most juicy looking mango. "What is he doing to me," the mango cried. He ripped the mango from the branch, and looking at it tastily, took out his trusty hunting knife. "No!" screamed the mango. He carved a little x at the tip of the mango, taking care to pierce the skin, but not too deeply. "No!!!" wailed the mango in pain and agony. Soon, the man began to take excruciating care in peeling off the skin of the mango, slowly pulling it off bit by bit. Inch by juicy inch. The other mangoes were shocked into silence by the screams of pain the juiciest mango felt. And terrified that they would be next. Whilst below, the little mango cried in happiness, enjoying the screams of those that had made fun of him and cast him down.

Soon, one by one, the mango peels came floating down, littering the floor with the remnants and carcasses of the once living mangoes. The little mango laughed to see them, in such a pitiful state.

The tree was empty, full with the sound of silence. The man was satiated. And the little mango was finally happy.

The End.

A kiss to build a dream on

Give me a kiss to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this
A kiss to build a dream on

Give me a kiss before you leave me
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart
Leave me one thing before we part
A kiss to build a dream on

When Im alone with my fancies...Ill be with you
Weaving romances...making believe theyre true

Give me your lips for just a moment
And my imagination will make that moment live
Give me what you alone can give
A kiss to build a dream on


When Im alone with my fancies...Ill be with you
Weaving romances...making believe theyre true

Give me a kiss to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss
Ah sweetheart, I ask no more than this
A kiss to build a dream on

"The inner progressiveness of love between 2 human beings is a most marvelous thing, it can't be found by looking for it or passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident."

- Sir Walter Walpole

Sadly Hilarious

I walked out of the exam venue.

As i travelled back to my hall, i realised one thing - Everyone was comparing answers and getting them wrong.

It was damn funny, in a sad way.

Vivid dream.
I was at my grandmothers house. My Uncle and Aunty with one son now had two children, the second one a girl.
I was playing around with a guitar there.
Somehow, someway, i ended up trying to play it behind my head.
Damn. Now i cant remember the rest.
And i woke from a daze with a sudden craving to hear Tell Laura I Love Her.
Wierd.

Horoscope

Virgo
The good news is that your career is about to take a very exciting turn -- the bad news is that it might also take up a lot more of your personal time, at least for a while. Your past work issues are all water under the bridge, and you have learned some very valuable lessons. Things are much more under your control than ever before. You have proved yourself capable of the responsibilities you have been given, and everyone is ready to see what you have to offer!

woot?

On a side note,
http://www.frontiernet.net/~jimdandy/specials/sweettators/

A Divine Comedy?

Sometimes it feels like im going through a story. Like a classic one by Dante Aligheri, his Divine Comedy. But instead of walking thorough hell, im experiencing it. Without a guide, taking things as they come.

Or perhaps the guide is the conscience? The manners of living that brought you to where you are and guides you to where you will go.

There are lessons learnt along the way. I learned the value of form over substance. Of people over tasks. You can focus on the tasks and hope people come to do it. Or focus on the people and hope the tasks get done on time.

The next hurdle being surviving my mid terms. So much for 4.6 in 2 sems. The S/U option is closing tomorrow. Time to decide if my 2 non core will pull me up or down...

Dammit. Why do these things always come packed like that?

Next goal - 4.6 in 2 sems. Ok. Maybe a little longer. 3 sems.

Bite the bullet and the gun will take care of itself. Life moves on.

So tell me something i don't already know

So not having people come when they should be coming is a problem?
Wow, how long did it take for that to sink in?
It feels bad that people don't turn up when they are supposed to, and you planned for them to turn up?
Oooh, well, try feeling that almost every day for 2 months.
What, you are trying to tell me that it feels worse now because its only like 2 days to the event?
Of course it feels worse. Uncertainty always makes it worse. But tell me - What do you expect me to do about it?

I can scold. I can rant. But if attitude is fucked up in the first place, what do you want me to do? Blame the parents?

I can only lead by example, come on time, do what i say, say what i do.

The rest is up to them.

And apparently, they're not up to it.

2 more days of hell. And my phone's knocked out. If any of my friends are reading this, pray that my sanity does not disintegrate, my temper does not flare, and my tolerance does not break. I have never been so pissed off in my life.

And why? Because i expected more from people like them. But *sarcastic* no..........

Head Cuttin' Duel

One of the most gripping pieces of cinema i have ever seen.

Therapy

Theres something exhilirating about going onto a stage and just playing punk songs.
The energy is nothing to be scoffed at.
KH was a fantastic frontman, really stole the show.
We SHOULD do that again.
But with more rock. hahaha
sleep eludes me still.
i shall chase it.

Who thanks the thankless?

I do.

V-day is so shit. bah.

Clausius, Clapeyron, Raoult = headache^3

Sleeping at three seems to be a bad thing. Hmmm, i wonder why. *sarcastically*

Scientists prove that lack of sleep affects brain function. Rats who were kept awake for 72 hours had noticeably reduced activities in certain parts of the brains.

So tell us something we don't know.

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise?

Something worth thinking about.

Sleeping at 3am is baaaaaaaaad.

It means the time im most alert is at 1am.

and it takes me more coffee to get through the day.

gah. need to reduce coffee intake. im overdependant.

Inspiration

GOD.

Selected anecdotes

You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When..

You answer the door before people knock.

You speed walk in your sleep.

You sleep with your eyes open.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

Cocaine is a downer.

You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching you.

You've worn the finish off your coffee table.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.

Instant coffee takes too long.

When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You short out motion detectors.

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.

Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.

You can't even remember your second cup.

You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

credits to http://www.koffeekorner.com/toomuchcoffee.htm

And life moves on.

Keep it tight.

Keep it real.

You Came - Kim Wilde

After a long search, i finally found this song!

Someone I know is staring at me
And when I look into her eyes
I see a girl that I used to be
I hardly recognise
Cos in the space of a year
Ive watched the old me disappear
All of the things I once held precious
Just dont mean anything anymore
Cos suddenly

You came, and changed the way I feel
No one could love you more
Because you came and turned my life around
No one could take your place

Ive never felt good with permanent things
Now I dont want anything to change
You cant imagine the joy you bring
My life wont be the same
And Ill be there when you call
Ill pick you up if you should fall
Cos I have never felt such inspiration
Nobody else ever gave me more because

You came, and changed the way I feel
No one could love you more
Because you came and turned my life around
No one could take your place

I watch you sleep in the still of the night
You look so pretty when you dream
So many people just go through life
Holding back, they dont say what they mean
But its easy for me
Since you came
No one could love you more
Because you came and turned my life around
No one could take your place
You came, and changed the way I feel
No one could love you more
Because you came and turned my life around
No one could take your place

Hmmm. Mambo, mambo, mambo... where is my mambo......
Something interesting - Besides singing, this artiste is an accomplished gardener. How cool is that?

To Fly

I think that such a dream
will not return again
and it painted my hands
and face blue
and unexpectedly the wind carried me fast
and made me fly in the infinite sky.

To fly oh oh
To sing oh oh
In the blue painted blue
happy to be up there

and flying, flying happy
I find myself higher
higher than the sun
while the world slowly, slowly gets farther
away from me
a sweet music played
only for me

To fly oh
To sing oh oh oh oh
In the blue painted blue
happy to be up there.

This explains some things though. I'm too bloody nice. How apt could that be.

Shagged.

Somehow, work doesn't take the edge off the pain anymore.

I need to relearn how i did that last time.

My heart nearly broke when i saw that photo.
A picture perfect frame - oh so fine
A glimpse of your face on that screen
But where was mine?
Fate is cruel in times so near
joy uprooted, spring unsighted, time after time
to leave me behind
while others
walk the line

"Hey, don't look so tired lei..."

I work sets from 8pm to midnight almost every night.
I'm taking 6 modules.
I have a deadline thats approaching as fast as paparazzi after Princess Diana's car.
I wake up in the morning at 7.30 on average, sleep at 2am daily.
My timetable looks like a nightmare.
Four out of my 5 days a week are practically 9-5.
My cap score is on the wrong end of the bell curve and i still want to go overseas.
Hence the daily grind to push myself up.
I have an team of 11, an effective team of 5.
I need a daily fix of 5 cups of coffee on average to keep me reasonably pleasant and active.

How the FUCK do you not expect me to look tired?

A tribute to the worlds stupidest lizard.
Who thought that my printer was a good place to take a nap.

You are like:
a dream that wafts across the air
the smell of fresh flowers in the morning
the sun that lifts heads drooped with despair
a drop of sweet water in the rain of life
the sun of a new day dawning
the respite from eternal strife.

tender thoughts i do opine
though all may be transient, and all in the mind?

General Unified Theory of Life

If you live to 100 (and thats a long shot)
you will have 100*365*24*60 = 52 million minutes.
You spend half of this doing mechanical functions (sleep, shower, shit, etc)
26 million minutes.

There are 6000 million people in the world. (and rising)
Of these 6000 million, lets say you get to meet 1 million of them in your lifetime.
Taking the 80/20 principle, you will spend 80% of your time with 20% of these people.
Out of these 20%, 20% (4% compounded) will take up 80% of your most valuable time.
Thats 40000 people.
Out of these 40000, you have your immediate family and good friends. Thats about 20, give and take. Extended family and friends included, maybe 100 total. Or even 200.

26 million minutes spent over 40000 people = 650 minutes a person = 11 hours a person

26 million minutes spent over 200 people = 325000 minutes per important person = 225 days per person.

We spend way too much time thinking of inconsequential things and irrelevant people. Time is a resource that is irreplaceable.

The point of this somewhat disorganised post is that i should spend less time worrying about people who do not matter.bah.

(expletive deleted)

I was just at a bio lecturer.

talked with one of the guys i know.

Talked with him for a while, just chit chat.

Confessed that i have never done bio in my life, can't quite catch whats going on.
(the guy has bio background)

"oh great, we need more people like you around."

...............
WHAT THE FUCK.
HOW XIALAN CAN YOU GET.
(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)

Volare

V. Disappointing Bash

nuff said.

On a roll!

My friend was scrolling through his email, and came upon a message from jenni_toh.
"I bet your friend's last name is Watts."
"Why?"
"Then she would be Jenni Toh Watts."
-------------
My brother wanted to get something to accessorise his appearance, and he was thinking of a bowler hat. So he asked my opinion.
"Well, i would hat to judge you..."
-------------
I was discussing the merits of chilli con carne with different kinds of pasta.
"Well, macaroni would work." suggested my friend.
"No, no, no... I always thought macaroni was like, children's food. You know, pasta for muppets..."
-------------
Let's leave that to digest for a while. Meanwhile, i must be butter, because im on a roll!

Cos' we are living
in a material world
and she
is a material girl.

Recollections

4 years ago today, i was:
One of the better students in my class in JC.

3 years ago today, i was:
Sleeping in my bed on tekong, shivering slightly without the warmth of my hair.

2 years ago today, i was:
Preparing to commission as an infantry officer in the SAF.

1 year ago today, i was:

Waking up on Jurong Island, with Ops duty as part and parcel of my tour of duty.

Today, i am:
Stuck in a camp of a different kind. And now struggling to do what once came to me damn quickly.

No point to this, just something that ran through my mind in the shower.

6 Mods.
To pull my CAP to 4.3, i must get:
A for 3 mods.
A- for 2 mods.
S/U and get an S for the 6th. This will be either General Biology or Management and Organisation.

This is not impossible. But i will not stop even at the impossible.

Fear is for the weak.

25 August 1985

Your date of conception was on or about 2 December 1984 which was a Sunday.

You were born on a Sunday
under the astrological sign Virgo.
Your Life path number is 11.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446302.5.
The golden number for 1985 is 10.
The epact number for 1985 is 8.
The year 1985 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/20/1985 and ending 2/8/1986.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Bear; your plant is Violets.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paopy, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 9 Elul 5745.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 10 Elul 5745.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.12.4.18 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 12 tun 4 uinal 18 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Sunday, 8 Dhi'l-Hijjih 1405 (1405-12-8).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 7 April 1985.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 14 April 1985.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 20 February 1985.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 26 May 1985.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 2 June 1985.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 16 September 1985.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 6 April 1985.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 19 February 1985.

As of 1/9/2007 9:56:35 PM EST
You are 21 years old.
You are 257 months old.
You are 1,115 weeks old.
You are 7,807 days old.
You are 187,389 hours old.
You are 11,243,396 minutes old.
You are 674,603,795 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Kel Mitchell (1978)	Claudia Schiffer (1970)	Rachael Ray (1968)
Billy Ray Cyrus (1961)	Tim Burton (1958)	Elvis Costello (1954)
Willy DeVille (1950)	Gene Simmons (1949)	Rollie Fingers (1946)
Regis Philbin (1933)	Sean Connery (1930)	Monty Hall (1923)
Leonard Bernstein (1918)	Mel Ferrer (1917)	Van Johnson (1916)
Ruby Keeler (1909)	Clara Bow (1905)

Top songs of 1985

Say You, Say Me by Lionel Richie	We Are The World by USA for Africa
Careless Whisper by Wham!	Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon
Money for Nothing by Dire Straits	Shout by Tears for Fears
Broken Wings by Mr. Mister	I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner
The Power of Love by Huey Lewis & the News	Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.05557729941292 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

There are 228 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 22 candles.

Those 22 candles produce 22 BTUs,
or 5,544 calories of heat (that's only 5.5440 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.51 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1985 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1985 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1985 in the US there were 2,425,000 marriages (10.2%) and 1,187,000 divorces (5%)
In 1985 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1985 the population of Australia was approximately 15,900,566.
In 1985 there were approximately 247,348 births in Australia.
In 1985 in Australia there were approximately 115,493 marriages and 39,830 divorces.
In 1985 in Australia there were approximately 118,808 deaths.


Your birthstone is Peridot

The Mystical properties of Peridot

Peridot is used to help dreams become a reality.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Sardonyx, Diamond, Jade

Your birth tree is

Pine Tree, the Particularity

Loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, many disappointments till it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.

There are 350 days till Christmas 2007!
There are 363 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing gibbous.

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp